****
“I was wondering....” Started Niall.
We were in my apartment while Allison was away at Uni.
I hadn’t tweeted, texted, or even got near a tv or computer for about a week.
Mauro kept calling me up, but I had refused to answer. The boys didn’t give me news about anything, but I didn’t exactly let them either. I just want to hide in my own shame and embarrassment.
“What were you wondering?” I asked. I didn’t exactly feel judged by it all when I was with him. I could actually forget about the horrible things that are happening.
“What if we...” stammered Niall but quickly closed his mouth right back up.
“What if we what?” I asked turning around from my position on the couch. I turned around, still leaning on him, but my sudden turn had caused him arms to unwrap from my body.
“You said Simon told you not to do anything with your public love life, just forget it,” he told me while shaking his head.
“You know I’m gonna ask anyway,” I insisted, “Might as well tell me, right?”
“I was just think,” he said finally after a sigh, “If we could go to the V-festival...together. We always get to go, and both of our schedules are clear, it’s next week... I just thought why not...”
I would have loved to say yes, but I wasn’t exactly in the position to say so right now.
“...Good thing you said you you knew I couldn’t though, right?” I finally said. I let out a small fake chuckle to lighten things down but i couldn’t. The facts are the facts.
If I’m going to spend the little time with Niall that I can, I’ll have to do it inside stuck with nothing but four walls around us. I had thought it was going to be nothing. Simple; We just wouldn’t go out much, but it’s proven to be difficult. I can’t be seen leaving his building, talk about him and even when I do manage to slip away, I can’t do anything since the boys or Allison probably will pop in. I feel like whining and complaining about not being able to tell the boys or Allison, or my friends, but I see the reasoning. I love these boys with all my heart, but I know them well enough to realize they can’t keep a secret to save their lives. After a while the truth comes out from them.
Worst of all I wasn’t used to being inside for so long. Me and Niall never really hide anything from the public when it came to our relationship. If there were rumors that we had broken up, one of us would tweet or say otherwise if it was wrong. We never really had hidden any affection. If he wanted to kiss me while we were taking a walk, he did, and vice versa. It had a sense of normality that I loved. It had felt genuine and grounded; almost normal.
We stayed silent again and I leaned back into his arms. The only difference though was that I no longer felt safe in his arms.
Well correction, I can’t stop thinking about going to the V- Festival with him, and not being able to go anywhere with him publicly.
Which then makes me think about the facts.
Why can’t I go out with him in public?
I have to get rid of the name homewrecker.
Not make it look as if it was my fault he and Amy broke up.
Not make myself look like a slut because of the fact that people thought I was romantically linked with Mauro.
I have to make sure not to disobey Simons rules, cause then I’m unemployed!
Well, more than usual...
YOU ARE READING
Finding Me (Sequel to Ava,The World, and Niall Horan)
Hayran KurguYour past doesn't define you, but your choices do. After leaving for nearly six months, Ava has come back London, and picked up her life right were it had left off. At least she thought she did. Your supposed to let go of baggage in six months right...
