*****
"Babe," Niall asked while walking to the bus.
We were at a pit stop at Subway but I wasn't really hungry. I decided to just wait by the bus stairs while they went to go eat.
Niall, of course, was the first one out.
"Yeah?" I asked.
I looked up from my phone and watched him. He was still the same old goofball he was when I met him.
So why did everything feel as if it changed?
“Are you okay?” he asked.
He sat beside me on the buss steps and I felt worried.
Does he know what I’m thinking?
“No, that’s impossible,” I thought, “That shit only happens in X-Men.”
“Uh, yeah why?” I lied.
“Alicia told me that you’re so tired lately,” he said while wrapping his arm around me, “Did you catch a bug or something? You never have a tired bone in your body. At least not without getting shit faced first.”
I smiled at that one. That’s true.
“Oh you know,” i said with a shrug, “Just touring and stuff. You know, it happens. ”
“Never to you though,” he said with a sigh. He rubbed my back and that was enough to let me know what was coming.
Every single time he rubs my back the same question comes after.
Every. Single. Fucking. Time.
The same old question; he always asks-
“Did you slip up again?” he asked with a different tone in his voice.
Whoomp there it is.
“What do you mean?” I asked playing dumb.
“Did you fall back in?” He asked. He combed my hair behind my ear and I sighed.
“No, Niall,” I said with emphasis, “I didn’t relapse, if that’s what you mean.”
“Well, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said realizing how it came out, “I just wanted to know if that was why you’re always so tired. I mean that was the main side effect for you. I just.... I don’t want you to fall back.”
“And I won’t,” I reassured him, “Not everything that’s wrong with me is going to be tied to my bulimia.”
He flinched slightly....
I stood up and walked inside.
“Did you ever fucking realize that that was what I have?!” I asked angered.
He know about this for about six months now, but he never seemed to grasp the concept.
“Had,” he corrected.
“This isn’t black and white, okay?” I said with a slight sigh, “I don’t exactly fully recover; this is what I will always have.”
“Had,” he said again just slightly more quiet.
“Shut the fuck up,” I told him while shaking my head.
“No,” sighed Niall, “What I mean is-”
“Yes by all means, explain why you decide to just pretend as if my Bulimia is as easy as curing a sore throat,” I said while nudging him a bit.
YOU ARE READING
Finding Me (Sequel to Ava,The World, and Niall Horan)
FanficYour past doesn't define you, but your choices do. After leaving for nearly six months, Ava has come back London, and picked up her life right were it had left off. At least she thought she did. Your supposed to let go of baggage in six months right...
