Finding Me (Sequel to Ava,The World, and Niall Horan)

42: Marriage Bullshit

A/N:

Quick notice, make sure to read the Authors Note is you want to know how to get the next Chapter dedicated to you, also I'm going to starting posting a new love story in about the next two weeks or so, so please get the word out on that, and please if someone could do me the favor and make me a cover for the story? It would mean the world to if! If so, please inbox me the picture, and thank you so much!

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“Hey,” I said closing the hotel room door behind me.

“Hey,” he replied nonchalantly.

I set my bag on the bed and sat on the edge while he layed down on his laptop.

I kind of just sat there.

Waiting.

“Aren’t you going to ask where I went?” I asked him.

“...Does it matter you’re here now, right?” He gave me a glance and I stared back at him while he went back to doing whatever it was he was doing.

“Yeah it does,” I told him. “You act as if you don’t care anymore!”

“Lets not take it that far,” he chuckled. “Obviously I still care about you. I just don’t feel the need to know everything you do.”

“You know when I’m touring and I’m bored I go over my contacts and stop at your name every time.” I wasn’t really paying attention to what I said. I was just naming my observations. “I wonder if I should call but then I think ‘Nah,’ ‘cause I don’t really feel like talking to you.”

He just looked at me. Just kind of looked at me. Not really upset. Not really insulted. And not really caring.

Just. Looking.

Looking at the same thing I see coming. Pure and utter demolition of everything we built these past two and a half years.

“...Why are you telling me this?” he asked. “I sometimes don’t call you either, even if I do have time. Our lives shouldn’t revolve around each other.”

That was true, I had to give him that one. but it wasn’t about me not calling him. It was about me letting everything slide. Just like I let things slide nine months ago and three months later ran away.

“We’re doing it again.” I looked up at him and wondered what the fuck was going to happen this time.

I did love him. I knew that much now. I wasn’t trying anymore though, which was something that kept nagging the back of my mind.

“Doing what?” he asked. He had gone back to his laptop.

“You know what,” I said annoyed, but he stayed by his laptop. I looked as his face as he blankly looked at the screen, no longer listening to what I had to say; he was already marking this conversation on our timeline as just another small banter that wouldn’t affect us after. I couldn’t deal with that. I know that this will be the death of us, if not as bad as last time, worse.

“ Nothing.” I looked at my hands and then back at him. I didn’t really want to be here with him anymore. “How about we both just go back to London. I don’t want to do this here.”

“Do what?” he said with a light chuckle. “We aren’t doing anything!”

“For fucks sakes, that the damn problem!” I said standing up. “Ever since I started working full time again, we went back to what broke us up in the first place. I don’t call. I don’t answer when you actually do call. When you visit, I kind of just focus on the fact that you’re leaving soon, instead of focusing on you being here for once! I can’t do this anymore.”