Finding Me (Sequel to Ava,The World, and Niall Horan)

1: She Seems Nice

"It is still shocking news to find out that Ava, the singer-songwriter Teen Idol to many," The news reporterLady said, "- that Ava, singer songwriter, left the music business. Many still cry over her sudden decision to leave the music industry six months ago. Teens, reportedly, around the world were seen blasting Ava's music as a celebration of her existence, and trying to forget her decision. It was said in a letter to 'E! News', recently that Ava wrote personally towards her fans that 'Nothing is permanent and the world changes along with the people who live in it, every day. I wish I could change my mind about everything. About leaving all you lovely friends, and those who became my family, but I wouldn't change my mind for the world. I know now that I can't be here anymore. I never wanted leave you guys. You're my fans, and I feel like a mother protecting her children with you guys. I hate to see you cry, and I cry when I see you are hurt. Please don't think I abandoned you guys. I would never leave you alone. In fact, I did this for you. I would never leave out of selfishness; if I did, it wouldn't be fair to you. I'm not comfortable with whom I became, and if I'm not the same Ava, then who is that you're cheering for on that stage? Because it's not me, and I can't live with that any longer. My decisions are never permanent, in fact there temporary. I don't think I'm going to be out forever, just for a while. I want to make music again someday, but I want it to be my music, not the music that managers and record people tell me to make. I want music that came from the heart to come back. I left to give you better music, real music. When I come back you guys will have real music, and you'll see me with a smile on my face. A smile that got lost in this mix all too quickly." It was a beautiful letter, and even longer but due to timing it can't be re-read. We wish Ava to come back soon with her newly found, 'real music' and hopefully with that smile on her face. We mourn for her to come back, but know that for now, everything is out of our reach. I'm Selena Ran, here for entertainment news. Back to you Mike."

I quickly turned off the TV, and headed back to my room to pack. I was fine again, and I felt like myself once again. I needed to go back to see whether or not I'm ready. I already have a whole album written all entirely by me, and me only, and I can smile again. I've never been more proud of myself. I'm most definitely back. Everything's more meaningful now to me. I just want to get settled, and mentally prepare myself for what's to come. I bought a new flat in London again, Simon knows I'm coming back, I texted Eleanor, Minka got the news from Simon, and the most important part of the comeback...

I re-activated my twitter.

I never thought I would do this. I always thought it was stupid when I found out about people that just pack up and leave the scene out of nowhere. But I understand it now. It's not because they were being selfish, they were being true to themselves, and those who decided to put up with everything even longer, even after they were feeling lost, they ended up hurt and trashed. I don't want that for myself. I wanted to find my love of music again, and I did!

I did music, because I loved it, and I then I started hating it. It wasn't fun anymore, but being in Tennessee, with nothing else in the room, but my piano.

I t helped me a lot.

"Ava!" I heard Ally call after me, "C'mon we have to go. The flights going to leave without us..."

"Coming!" I shouted back.

I picked up my suitcase, and looked around my newly empty bedroom. My sister moved in with me after I felt lonely for so long. Roommates never were my thing. I found it creepy to move in with someone you've never met before. I just can't do that. I closed the door to my room, and walked out never looking back. I was going to change everything, I changed, and I was okay with it. I just hope everyone will be too.

****

"You don't have to do this you know...?" Ally finally said as we about to land.

"You tell me this now?" I asked with a small laugh, "A little late for asking me to second guess myself don't you think?"