Finding Me (Sequel to Ava,The World, and Niall Horan)

26: The Brave and the Broken

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"Before we go in," said Ashley while hovering over the door handle, "I  want you to know that these girls have gone through horrible things. Traumatic experiences that no person should ever have to see. These girls they're.... Troubled-"

"Aren't we all?" I thought to myself while staring down at my feet.

"-I just wanted to know that,' went on Ashley, "Some of them were really looking forward to you coming. They were quite surprised about your... Similarities."

I knew that was just a nice way to say that it was a shock to find out I was practically another version of them.

Ashley opened the door and immediately the girls all turned her way. I saw some of their faces lit up and others held no expression.

I did everything subconsciously and waved hello.

"Everyone this is Ava," introduced Ashley, "Shes here to talk to you."

There was a clearing towards the front of the room with a microphone setup and a stool behind it. I was led towards it and took a seat.

"Hi," I said into the microphone while sitting on the stool.

I didn't know what else to say...

"Wow," I said to myself. The microphone caught that though, "I was just wondering, how old is this age group?"

A silence filled around the room until I saw a girl mouth Seventeen. Awkward was an understatement.

"Seventeen," I repeated, "Been there,done that. Don't want to go back. I know how you feel. I still feel it sometimes. You're seventeen; your life is just starting to beginning. You're applying to colleges seeing what your going to do with your life...if you were anything like me, then you didn't know half the shit that was going on."

Silence.

No one ever spoke and the people looked bored. I didn't know how else to take this.

"Look," I said with a sigh, "I know what's going on. You aren't here by choice and you don't exactly know what's going on. All you keep hearing is 'get better' 'Its just a phase' or 'why would you do this to yourself?' The only problem is that you can't answer that question. You honestly don't know what's wrong! You're just as confused. You hear about how other people went through these things and you think: What's wrong with me?

So many people got back on their feet and your still here. Struggling. I was you. I was stuck inside these walls, visits on Tuesdays and the food was shit. Then again, to me all the food was shit. If you tried eating, you couldn't. You looked around and saw how others were struggling to even pick up their fork. You felt embarrassed that you could, so you set your fork back down. Some days you were the brave one that took a bite first. Others you were the stubborn one who refused to remember the utility of silverware,"

I saw nodding heads and others look down in shame.

"and I know its hard to think that your not alone," I went on, "I know that right now you think your defective. That something’s wrong with you; but as shitty and cliche you think this is, its still the truth. You're not alone. You aren't here by choice. Thats enough to say you're not alone. Someone cared and loved you enough to worry about your health. No matter the circumstances, there will always be at least one person. One is all you need. One was all I needed.

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“You’re doing great,” Minka whispered excitedly into my ear while giving my shoulder a squeeze.