Finding Me (Sequel to Ava,The World, and Niall Horan)

Authors Note:

Let me start of by saying that I am so, so, so, so absolutely sorry. When I started this series I was about to turn 14 and in my last months as an Eighth grader. Currently, I'm a Freshman in college. The last time I updated was on May 14, 2014. Currently it's December 30th, 2016. Wowza.

It's extremely encouraging to read your comments, especially when to me this feels like a lifetime ago. I always assumed that people just let go of the book. I ignored it and figured no new people would have found it. To be completely honest I even forgot about it. I was reminiscing about it a couple days ago, so I decided to read my writing. It was complete shit in my opinion; how so many of you let go of my grammar and spelling errors still bewilders me, but thank you regardless. Re-reading it reminded me how much I love writing. And I really do love it. Re-reading everything also made me realize how much I've grown as a person, so to be honest- I was totally cringing at certain parts because I knew that when I wrote certain things I was projecting my own personal stuff.

I was also cringing about how ignorant I was. Like the fact that I used the n-word so casually, and at one point wrote "a trans" in regards to Mauro despite him not even being a transgender character- I did it as the butt of a joke which was gross. It was very transphobic on my part because A: gender and sexuality are two different spectrums, B: 'a trans' puts someone's gender as the only definition of them as a person, and C: it insinuated that someone who is trans is less of a man or woman because of it, which is just wrong. It insinuated that there was something wrong with that and I apologize.
Also, for fucks sake, I wrote a date rape joke, and that's just not cool man. Like what the fuck. And also, the hella shade and Slut shaming towards Taylor Swift (I still don't fucks with her if you know what I mean bc she's problematic, but that doesn't excuse slut shaming) While writing I was between the ages 13-15 and a lot has changed since then. So I apologize for everything because it was massively shitty and I know better, and some of you might have rolled your eyes through this whole paragraph but fuck it man, I don't feel comfortable continuing this without clearing that up and apologizing because as someone who doesn't go through this stuff I have no right to make fun of it because it would only contribute to the overall stigma.

I have decided that I will finish the book, as a thank you to you all, and also because I miss it. Currently, I'm majoring in journalism because I still love to write, but I miss writing for myself also.
Thank you all so so so so so much. When I started writing this I was 13. I was depressed, I hated myself tbh, bulimic, and going to a new charter school I hated- but I always loved to write, so decided I wanted to get started somewhere. Starting writing helped me get through a lot of things. I got the courage to transfer schools and I met a sea of new amazing people that changed me for the better. Now, I'm healthy- emotionally and physically. I'm happy. I have friends I love, family I can trust, and I don't feel like my voice is silenced all the time. Writing helped me get there and I think that that's why I abandoned it for so long after I started feeling better. I didn't want to keep my crutch but that wasn't fair to you guys.

I have continued writing one way or another though. Throughout my last 2 years of high school I participated in Louder Than a Bomb which is a Slam Poetry competition in the Chicago area, but stanzas will never compete will paragraphs and the characters in my mind to be honest.

I will continue, I will keep replying to comments like I always loved to, and once again I'm so so so sorry I literally abandoned y'all.
I had the next two chapters already written on the laptop that I used to use, but since these past three years that laptop is broken. The novel I spoke is gone too, and the Harry Fanfic was also deleted. I remember that it was called "The Barney Speedo." I actually liked that one too, I was excited over it but fuck man. I do remember what I had planned for this book though. I'll try to post the next part soon, as in within these next 3 days.

Thank you all so much. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank thank you.
And y'all- this time I'll proofread because yikes my spelling and grammar was a fucking mess.
Xxx-
Daniela.