F1-F4 one shots

Mick Schumacher- Scared of losing you.

Requested by CinnamonPassionGirl

69- I know exactly how this ends
46- I am too sober for this

After a few different arguments, you have hit another low point. As much as Mick tries to support you, his girl, it's getting harder and harder as the season looms. 
Throwing your phone again, as another photo of him smiling hits the screen and of course the rumours of you potentially breaking up show up again. It's angered you again, just like it always does.

When you first started to date him, you didn't worry half as much as you do now. You don't even recognise the person looking at yourself in the mirror. In fact most day you hate what you see.
As your phone buzzes you know it'll be Mick.
"Are you coming to dinner tonight? Welcoming Kevin back... Would be good for us if you could make the effort." You see the message before you even pick it up.

Effort.

You are knee deep in self loathing and pity.  But you are just meant to brush it off and get on with being the loving supportive girlfriend that he wants. Even though you have your demons. Which he knows about. But of course you need to be the one who makes the effort never the blue eyed boy. As you sigh, you get up off of the bed and grab your phone. Is it too early for a wine? You need the courage to head to the track. Pulling on your Jean shorts and a little tank. As much as you like pushing boundaries, you know Mick likes you to try and keep it at a minimum whilst there to support him.
You throw on some trainers and grab a jumper just in case it's chilly.

You quickly down a couple of shots before you leave, just to take the edge off the nervousness.
"Oh hey beautiful." Mick smiles when he spots you. Kissing you lightly. "That the new perfume you got?" You love that he always knows when something has changed. When something is even slightly different. "Yeah. Does it smell okay?" He smiles at you nodding his head. "Yeah you smell amazing baby." He looks around, before pulling you closer to him. Kissing you more deeply than he would at the track.
"I love you. You know know that, right?" You nod your head, but can't help but wonder what's brought it on.
As you, yourself take a look around. You spot her easily. Standing beside her dad the manager of one of the f2 boys.
Justine. His ex.
"Noted.. now I understand." He looks down at you, his face hardening to your words.  "Baby.. no. You know I love you regardless of if she's here or not... don't you?" You nod your head. But you know how belittled she makes you feel.
"No. I don't. I thought I was here to meet K Mag and his wife? Not stare at your ex." You can't help but quip at him. You've had enough of her interference and his fans interference.

"I'm going to go a walk..." Mick sighs, not letting you go. "No. Baby, please don't go off in a mood. You are here for later.. Louise  is in hospitality with Laura." He quickly says. "Will I come up with you?" Shaking your head the damage has been done. "I'll go myself. Even though I am too sober for this shit." Mick looks down.
He doesn't disapprove of drinking, but does when you get into the states you've been in.
"No. I know exactly how that ends remember... no drinking please." He asks you. Or tells you, his tone is off.
"No more Justine then. How fucking hard is it?" The words leave your mouth before you can stop them.

"What? What has she to do with this? Have you been online reading the crap again?" You nod your head. All of the younger girlfriends do it, you being no different. "Stop it. You know it's just vile unnecessary crap. It's not even worth the words that it's gossiped in." You can feel the anxiety in your stomach bubble and it cramping like it usually does before the tears begin.
"Come here.." Mick know the stomach hold better than most. "Don't cry baby. You look amazing today. You always look beautiful. Don't let the anxiety and demons get to you. I know us fighting doesn't help with them. But I'm frustrated." You push your head into his shoulder.

Trying to hold on, trying to not let the dark thoughts creep back into your head. Not to let the anxiety want to tear your skin off. Pushing a kiss to your temple. You feel Mick. The present day Mick, who tries so hard to keep you together. Even though all you do is fight with him.
"Maybe I should go home. After this race? Go get proper help? I can't keep this up and it's not fair on you." You can't help but bubble, the tears and sobs. You just know that you've hit the lowest you've ever been and that you need help.

"Okay. We can go home, get you help. But I will need to leave for the next race and you know I will worry about you. You know I prefer you to be by my side. So I inow you are okay beautiful." You nod your head but you know. You just need to look after yourself.
Once you calm down and sort your face out a little. You head up to introduce yourself.

Even after speaking with Louise who's done the whole girlfriend of a driver for a long time. She affirms you need to look after yourself.
No matter how much Mick says he loves you and wants to take care of you. You need to do it first.
In the photo of you, Mick and the Mags. You don't even recognise the girl who's smiling.
She is a distant memory.
On the way back to the hotel. You look for flights. One way to your parents house. "Mick I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I need too. I love you and I will always support you. But I need to look after myself right now. If you don't agree to it, then we are done."
He looks at you. Surprised you've spoken out.

"But baby... I don't want us to be over. I'm scared of losing you. Not just to your demons. Just losing you, losing you." You see his bottom lip quiver, before he bites it. "So are we done? Or will you come back?" He asks you, his voice shaking badly.
"Yes I'll come back. I love you Schu."