A Court of Sun and Flame

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"When you're done with being used, you become desperate to fight back and it doesn't matter how far you go, as long as you go. It's like a bomb that's ticking inside you and the longer you keep it in, the louder the explosion and the greater the damage."
~ Arti Manani

TRIGGER WARNING: BREAKDOWN, TRAUMA, IMPLICATION OF RAPE
Breathe.

Breathe through it.

Keep it in.

Let it pass.

Push it down.

Be stronger than it, for there is no other option.

"Aurelia." Aunty Amren snaps from behind me, concern laced in her words as she finishes curling the loose strands of my hair that roll out of the crown plait she has done for me. The front orange part of my hair has been left out of the plait and curls, allowing my heritage to be on show. I didn't want to hide in the shadows anymore. I wanted, no need, to be powerful. I am sick of being weak and vulnerable, sick of living in fear of Him. I refuse to do so from now on.

If I push the worries and fear down far enough, then they won't be able to reach me. They can suffer in the darkness just as I once did.

"I will ask you this one last time girl, are you sure you want to do this?" My aunt asks, as she meets my reflection in the mirror, looking at me as if she was looking straight into my soul, far away from the shield I built myself.

"I'm sure." i reply sternly. Although i'm pissed off right now, im not stupid enough to start an argument with my aunt, for it will end up with me getting into a load of fucking trouble.

Without answering, Aunty Amren turns and stalks to the walk-in wardrobe, coming out with a long black dress, with a mesh neckline and sleeves that would reach my wrists, and a long slit open on the side of the dress. At the bottom of the dress, there are slithers of orange, red and yellow, all crossing over each other like flames dancing within the blood of my heritage.

Stunning could not even begin to describe how the dress looked.

Aunty Amren left the room whilst I put the dress on before I called for her to come back in. I watch as my aunt steps into the room and then freezes, shock frozen onto her stone face.

"What?" I ask, after she has been staring at me for so long that I started to feel uncomfortable.

"Nothing, my little phoenix, nothing."

Making her way further back into the room, she stops a couple of metres away from me as she drawls, "You have many questions my niece, and rightfully so, but you must do well to remember that not every question needs to be answered, some are best left alone. Answers aren't always true, and can sometimes lead to lies; however, it's not the lies you have to watch out for, it's the truth. You can recover from a lie, knowing that the information cannot hit its mark, but the truth," she clicks, "now that can burn you alive."

"But their flames can't hurt me.'' I say, unsure about what it is she is implying.

"Perhaps not child, but who said anything about other people's flames?"

***

The rest of the inner circle was gathered around outside the tall stone doors that lead to the throne room, decorated with beast-like creature, not that different from how Tamlin looks in beast form, but these ones had long, sharp talons that look so life-like that i took a step back, worrying that if i tripped it would jump off of the door and rip me apart.

Cassian and Azriel step into the throne room with their illyrian armour on, immediately quieting the murmurs that i could hear from the corridor.

Next it was Mor, Nesta, Aunty Amren and me who were to walk into the heart of the Court of Nightmares. Mor and Nesta went first, both dressed to kill as they sent daggers to any unexpected victim to their gaze.