A Court of Sun and Flame

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

"No matter where we are, we'll always share the same sky. We can always find each other in the same constellation."
~ Roshani Chokshi

Jasmine

My head is leant against the wall as I sit on the windowsill of my room, watching the blizzard outside of the window.

As I watch the snow fly across the sky in swirls and spirals, my door opens as my father walks in, making his way towards me and stopping to drag a chair near the window seat, and sits himself down.

"I don't how much longer we can keep them out for, he has gone to Night for help, and now Rhysand would like to see you, they understand and know the mistake, Jasmine."

Looking into my fathers eyes, twin to mine, i reply with no emotion on my face, "I don't understand why they want to see me, how he could want to see me, after everything i did, after what I-I said."

"We all make mistakes, Jasmine, the best of us do."

I shake my head, "No, they don't. She came to me for help, and what did I do? I fucking said that her miscarriage was for the best because i thought that we would both be shit mothers!"

"Why did you think that?"

Exacerbated, I stood up and paced my room, "What do you mean why?! Because our mother left us, she left us, wanting nothing to do with us! Yes, Viv has been like a mother to me, and I love her as if she was, but at the end of the day, she isn't. The day that Bronwyn came to me, that morning i was hanging out will some old friends in the woods, and we were all laughing around, teasing each other about stupid things, but then at one point, i said how i couldnt wait to have a child, a baby i could raise with my future mate. I explained how I would love them no matter what, how I would do anything for them, all the things my mother never did for me, I would do for them. But my friends...they didn't seem to agree with me. I told them about my mum, and my insecurities and they laughed." I said as ice flowed up my arms,

They said that I would be a horrible mother, and that if I ever became pregnant, I-I should get rid of them, to do them a favour, they said that any child I brought into this world would live a life worse than death. And I believed them, for their words had so much confidence behind them, that I allowed my dream to crumble, and allowed my hopes for the future to disappear.
So when Bronwyn came to me later that day, I wasn't myself, I was a puppet whose strings the puppeteer had finally worked out how to pull. The words flowed out of my mouth as an echo of thiers. Only after she went, I realised what I did. What I led myself to believe, and how I ended up putting that on her as well."

"Who were they?" Father growled as he stood from his chair.

"It doesn't matter, for I am just as bad."

"No, you are not Jasmine. You are so much different from them in every single way. I'm sorry I wasn't much help to you when it came to these issues when you were younger, but I can tell you now, that you would make an excellent mother, you and Bronwyn will. And the first step is to let him in, tell them your side of the story. You know how there are two sides to every story, knowing only one is like only reading the end of a book, you have no idea the reasons or origins of the characters actions and words. In order to understand the truth, people need to see every angle, only then will the story be complete."

I know he's right.

I need to tell him, I need to tell my mate, I need him. Being away from him this long was one of the most painful things I had ever done, and I can't bear to be away from him for another moment.

"Where is he?"

A small smile grown on my Fathers face as he says, "Probably sizing up a polar-bear, debating on whether or not he could get past one to get through the border."