Alina Shostakov is a Alexei Shostakov's daughter, trafficked to the Red Room with her siblings, Natasha and Yelena only she was there since birth, having no choice but to do as the said.
During a mission, she meets Wade Wilson, a mercenary with a l...
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- "Oh, your poor wife." -
Wade slashed his katanas out of the man's torso, spinning them back into his holster. He sighed loudly, "Now, if I were a 200-pound sack of assholes named Francis, where would I hide?" Behind him, a mirror bike revved and he slowly looked over his shoulder. "Oh."
Francis started to drive away and Wade ran after him. With one hand on the wheel, Francis started to shoot Wade who jumped in the air and then kicked off a car, spinning mid-air and throwing his katana which lodged into Francis' front wheel, knocking him off his bike and into the flipped car.
"A hush falls over the crowd as rookie sensation Wade W. Wilson out of Regina, Saskatchewan, lines up the shot." Wade held his hands in front of him, his fingers making a box. "His form looks good." He kicked Francis in the head and the man fell over. "Oh! And that's why Regina rhymes with fun. Ladies and gentlemen, what you're witnessing is sweet dick-kicking revenge. Oh! Giving him the business." Wade then threw him up the barrier and kicked off Francis' helmet yelling, "Incoming! This is taking sportsmanlike conduct to a whole new level!" Wade stabbed a katana through Francis' shoulder and it went through the concrete behind him.
Wade crouched in front of him, pushing his head back with two fingers, "Looking good, Francis. Well rested. Like you've been pitching, not catching. Ringing any bells? No?" Wade lifted the bottom of his mask. "How about now?"
"Yeah, like a got bit by a radioactive Shar-Pei. Yeah. And whose fault is that, huh, Francis?" Wade asked. "Yeah, time to undo what you did to this butterface."
"Please, you should thank me." Frantic retorted. "Apparently, I made you immortal. I'm actually quite jealous."
"Yeah, but this ain't a life worth living, is it? Now, I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s." Wade punched what was behind him but only found metal so he felt around and turns out, it was a metal dick. "Dad?"
He looked up and saw Colossus who grabbed him and threw him into a car.
I think we can all agree that shit just went sideways in the most colossal way. Well, maybe not the most. Okay. Let's pro-con this superhero thing. Sorry, dungarees.
Wade thudded into the car with a groan.
Pro: they pull down a gaggle of ass. Local dry cleaning discounts. Lucrative film deals, both origin stories and larger ensemble team movies.
"Con: they're all lame-ass teachers pets." Wade told the camera.
"You know, I can hear you." Colossus shrugged.
"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to them." Wade shot back.
"Stay right here." Colossus ordered Francis. "You've been warned before, Deadpool. This is a shameful land reckless use of your powers. You will both be coming with us."
