Northstar Optimus Prime x Fem Reader

11, Congratulations Optimus, i am angry.

Y/n pov

I understand why he had to lie, but I'm still fucking pissed. I almost died cause I thought he died.

Jesus I need some air, feel like I'm suffocating in my own my frustration. I walked out of my room to the hanger. A few of the bots were there getting patched up and such. Optimus had his arm reattached and was talking with the others. I need some air badly.

Avoiding the others as best as I could, I managed to get outside and no one was around as a bonus.

The air was cool and refreshing. Though the relaxed feeling only lasted so long before the unmistakable sound of a certain Autobot came by and took a seat next to me. Guess he caught me leaving...

"Are you okay?" Optimus asked, I didn't answer. I could tell he was going to keep going.

"... Why are you crying?" He asked so kindly, but I didn't budge. I didn't even know I was crying.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" He got closer to me,
"... I'm mad at you." I keep my voice steady,

"Alright, why is that?" Optimus was understandable and calm,

"You never told me that you didn't actually plan on leaving. I-... I was devastated." I took a deep breath so I didn't yell. It wouldn't help.

"I know. I'm sorry Y/n."... sorry...? Really?

"Sorry? You're sorry? I thought you fucking died!" I yelled, so much for keeping calm. But it didn't matter.

"I wanted to tell you, but it was better incase you were interrogated."

"I get it, just-... I almost- ugh!" I cut myself off, he doesn't need to know. Not now.

"You almost what?" He asked. Fuck.

"Nothing! It doesn't matter..." as soon as I finished my sentence I realized my error. My response was defensive. He knew something was up.

"Y/n, what aren't you telling me?" Optimus questioned, facing me.
"Nothing happened I didn't do anything."

"So you were planning on doing something? Is that right?" Fuck... and he's asking so calmly and sweetly! God he's so ugh!

"No!-"  "Then what happened?" He didn't let up, I can't let him know, I don't want that conversation. Not again. Never again.

"I told you, nothing!" I look away, praying to anyone that he'll believe it.

"You're lying. You get defensive when you lie Y/n." For fucks sakes why does he know me so well!?

"I... n-no I don't! Y- you're pulling at straws you won't find anything!" I stumbled over my words, standing up I turn around and start to leave when the unmistakable sound of a folded up piece of paper hit the cement.

It took me a moment to realize what I heard, but when I did I turned on my heel as fast as I could and ran to grab it.

But Optimus got to it first. He didn't even have to try. Just reached over and took it.

"N-no! I need that!" I try to jump up and grab it from his grasp but he held it higher then I could reach.

"Tell me what you were planning on doing, and I'll give this back." He offered, wait what?

"Are you blackmailing me?!" I stop jumping for it, it's hopeless to grab.

"Yes. I am concerned about you." ...

"I- I'm fine see? Really I'm okay Optimus, just give me the note." I try to shrug it off,

"So this is a note? Does it have something to do with what you were planning?" Shitshitshit!!!

"Uh no not at all! It's something completely different! It's just... " I pulled a  blank, damnit!

"Y/n. I'm looking at this note." Optimus sighed, shit...

What do I do! Run? Play dumb? Say I found it somewhere?? No that really wouldn't work...

Should I just... tell him? I know he won't be upset. Though that doesn't make it any easier.

I really don't want him to know.

"N-no! Please please PLEASE!!" I scream, gripping onto his hand.

"Y/n!" Optimus tries to keep his hand still so I don't fall, not like I'd fall far.
"What happened? By Primus Y/n you are scaring me." Optimus sighed, taking his other hand and pulling me off, and placing me back on the ground.

"I- I... I'm sorry." I put my head in my hands. Shame taking over.

"My love, may I look at it?" Optimus got closer to me,

"... okay." I gave up. He's gonna find out anyway.
Optimus nodded and opened the piece of paper and started reading.

My mind started reciting what I wrote,

Dear whoever,

Sorry that you found me like this. But... I lost the one that I loved the most. So I decided that if there is an afterlife, I'll join him there.
Mom and dad, I love you so much. Thank you for everything. Sam, thank you for being my best friend my whole life. I love you, sorry I won't be at your wedding.

And Optimus... I know you won't read this ever, but just know I love you. I saw your ship blow up and in that moment I knew I couldn't live without you. So I won't. Maybe I'll see you again, in another life. I love you.

Goodbye
Y/n Marie Witwicky

Is it too late to run? Definitely.

Optimus finished reading and just looked at me. Oh my god is he... tearing up? The look in his eyes broke my soul.

"Y/n, come here." Optimus requested with a trembling voice, setting his hand down in front of me, I hesitated and he noticed.

"... Are you gonna hurt me?" I whimpered like some pathetic child, he shook his head
"I would never hurt you, little one." He spoke calmly,

I hesitated but got on his hand carefully, he brought me up to his chest and hugged me.

"By primus Y/n I'm so sorry. I should have told you. I didn't mean to... cause this." Optimus caressed my back softly. Rocking himself back and forth to soothe me.

"Y- you weren't supposed to know... I didn't want to worry you. I'm sorry." I hiccuped, smothering myself into his chest for comfort.

"Sweetspark, look at me." Optimus requested softly, I could feel the vibration of his voice.
I do as asked at look him in the optics, he looks terrified...

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Not one thing. I'm sorry you felt so helpless. And I promise that whatever you do I will support you fully and completely. I love you Y/n. I love you so much." Optimus kissed the top of my head.

"I love you too, Optimus." I try to not sob

"I will never leave you. Never. I can't stand the thought of you... taking your own life..." Optimus held me closer somehow, his body trembling with emotional agony.

"I'm not going anywhere... I love you too much..."

"I want to keep you safe love. Until you aren't a possible danger to yourself." I knew what he was implying, psych evaluation. I'm not happy about it, but I'd do anything for him.

"Okay..."

A/n

Next chapter may take a bit longer!! Anyway I love y'all ❤️✨