Northstar Optimus Prime x Fem Reader

16, Not your fault

Since we arrived, it's been quite uneventful. Or to me at least, I've been unable to focus the whole time.

"Is something bothering you Y/n? You're skipped five meals this week." Optimus approached me as I was curled up on the couch. I haven't left this spot in hours.

"Just got a lot on my mind is all..." I mumble, starring at my thighs, covered in pink scars of Cybertronian.

In the corner of my eye I watched him approach and crouch in front of me.

"I understand, but I'm getting worried about you." Optimus sighed, his presence taking the edge off of my stress.

"..." to no one's surprise, I have been thinking about what happened in the store all week. I've been able to keep myself busy with cleaning around and mindlessly organizing things over and over again. But these last few days, I've started slipping.

He knew. No way he didn't. He's too observant, he's tried to help distract me, and it worked a little. But only a little.

"I've just been thinking about what happened..." I confess, not bothering to look at him. If I did I'd just burst into tears.
"I know love. I wish I could take your pain away, do you want to talk about it?" He offered, but didn't press.

"... when I went in the store the cashier was knocked out. Tired high school student, can't blame him... I walked to the back of the store to the slushi machine. And I felt arms wrap around me and a head on my shoulder." I swallowed painfully, Optimus was being patient and free of judgment.

"I thought it was you..." my voice trembled as my lip quivered, struggling to hold tears in.

"I'm sorry little one." Optimus grabbed my hand comfortingly. A look of despair on his face,

"Then she spoke, and I froze. She grabbed my sides and squeezed as hard as she could... I told her to stop..." my voice trembled badly, a few tears slipping out against my will. Optimus was heartbroken, but didn't falter his comfort. 

"She taunted me... a-and.." I hiccup painfully,
"She groped me..." I grip at my hair in an attempt to comfort myself in some way. It didn't help much. I tried to keep my breathing even as intrusive thoughts of the event flashed in my head.

"By the allspark..." Optimus was taken aback, holding my hand a bit tighter. Unfortunately not noticing my intense distress.

I just starred at my lap, trying to not gag in disgust at myself for not being able to fight back.

"I'm disgusting..." i mumble to myself lowly enough that he wouldn't hear, as I gripped my hair harder in rage.

"Stop that. You'll hurt yourself." Optimus grabbed my fingers and tried to pry them from my hair.

"THATS THE POINT!" I yell, desperately trying to get my emotions out.

I didn't even care in the moment that I just told Optimus that. I just wanted to feel better.

My entire body trembles with sobs, the anger and anguish were too great to contain. Optimus gently held my face in his hands and wiped away a stray tear before pressing our foreheads together.

"It's okay Y/n. Just breathe sweetheart." He soothed. Mimicking breathing for me to follow.
"You're safe. No one can hurt you." Optimus mumbles softly, rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs.

"Everything is going to be okay. You are loved. By the stars Y/n you are loved so much."

After several minutes I felt like I could breathe normally again, my tears had stopped flowing now and the shakiness in my limbs had subsided.
I took deep breath and smiled at him. His optics were still filled with concern but there was a small smile on his lips too.

"Do you feel a bit better?"

I hum softly in response,

"Do you think you can eat something? You haven't eaten in almost two days." Optimus asked softly,

"I think so..." I mumble, wrapping my legs around his waist, and arms around his neck. With a hum Optimus supported my weight from under me and his other arm around my waist.

As we walked to the kitchen I kept my head tucked in the crook of his neck, his touch comforting to my frayed nerves. He put me down gently on a chair and went to made me some toast.

"Thank you Optimus..." I mutter quietly as he brought my plate to the table. I ate slowly, savouring every bite. Optimus stayed by my side while I ate, occasionally reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind my ear.

I got half way through my first piece and I felt sick. I dropped the toast back on the plate.

"I'm sorry... I just can't eat anymore..." I mumble, looking down at the table.
Optimus put his hand on my leg gently,

"Its alright darling..." He says calmly, I couldn't tell if he really meant it or he was simply trying to make me feel better. "Do you feel any better?" He asks gently.
"A little bit."

A genuine smile spread across his face, making me feel better.

"You have increased cortisol levels, are you feeling anxious?" Optimus questioned softly, squeezing my hand. I nod with a sigh.

"Would you like a distraction? Or to talk about it?" Optimus asked,

"... can we just cuddle?" I shyly ask to be held. Optimus chuckled softly and stood up, taking me with him to the couch.

And he lied me in his chest, listening to his spark beat as it lulled me to sleep.