her mafia man

chapter 36

(lilith's pov, saturday june, 22nd 2019)

todays the day.

i finally leave this hell whole but also leave the love of my life.

yesterday morning was spent with izzy and then the rest of the day was spent packing my whole room with dean, maddie, and dalton. last night however was spent at deans house where we made love for hours.

now we're at my house again and boxes were everywhere along with trash bags full of clothes and shoes that still needed to be loaded into my truck. all my actual furniture was loaded into the u-haul that uncle D is driving to LA for us.

devan and i decided to drive our trucks so we didn't have to pay for them to be shipped but that was before i got my cateye. now i'm shipping my squarebody to LA and just going to drive my cateye.

gas prices are about to kill us both but it's worth it. the apartment we have in LA isn't huge but it's 3 bedrooms 2 bath and it has a decent size balcony.

my mom and i talked and she decided to keep my dogs since taking them away from there huge backyard and into a small apartment wouldn't be the best thing for them.

"how much crap do you have?" dalton asks as he puts the last box into the bed of my truck.

when i was younger i found the front of a camero on the side of the road and that's currently taking up the most room in my truck but i didn't want it in the u-haul where it could get broke.

"it's not even that much." i tell him as i throw the tarp over the back of my truck and tie it down.

we decided that in case it rains on the way to LA we would have tarps covering the stuff in the beds of our trucks.

"there's only like 9 more boxes that can go in the backseat." dean tells me as he puts two boxes into the backseat.

"see not that much." i tell dalton and he rolls his eyes.

me, my mom, dean, and dalton get the rest of the boxes loaded in under five minutes and this is the part i've been dreading.

"bye honey we'll be out there next week to help you guys get settled in." my mom says as she hugs me.

"okay i'll keep you updated on our way there." i tell her and pull away from the hug.

"okay i love you." she tells me.

"i love you too." i say and then dalton hugs me.

"bye see you next week." he says.

neither of them were too worried about me leaving yet since they'd be out there next week but with dean it's different. he won't be out there next week and there was no telling when the next time i see him will be.

"i love you grumpy giraffe." i tell him as i hug him tightly.

"i love you beautiful." he mumbles quietly just holding me.

"i'll keep you updated too." i tell him with a shaky voice and he nods.

tears form in my eyes and before i know it they begin to fall.

"i love you so much. i'm so sorry that i'm leaving. i never meant to hurt you or fall this hard for you." i tell him but he shakes his head and kisses me.

while we kiss our tears mix together which just makes me cry harder knowing he's crying.

"i love you princess. don't ever feel sorry for achieving your goals. i understand and i'm not sorry for falling in love with you." he tells me once we pull away.

"when you get home will you give nova and muddy an extra hug for me please. i know i gave them many this morning but i need them to know i love them." i tell him.

"of course amore." he tells me. "do you have everything? is your phone charged? do you have enough money? never mind i'll transfer some anyway." he tells me.

"no i have enough i promise and yes my phones charged." i tell him.

"okay please be safe. if anything happens call me and i'll be there." he tells me.

"i will." i tell him.

"good." he says and we just stare at each other.

i lean up and kiss him one more time before finally letting go of him.

"i love you." he tells me once more.

"i love you." i tell him as he opens the truck door for me.

"no matter what happens between us please understand that everything i do is for you and that you're it for me." he says and i nod.

"i understand." i tell him and he nods.

"now get in the truck and leave before i kidnap you and force you to stay with me." he says trying to be funny but i knew he would actually do it if he didn't have as much self control as he does.

i get in the truck and buckle in worm, who is riding shot gun next to me still in baileys hoodie. i then buckle in myself and connect my phone to aux before i pull out of the driveway.

i'm leaving.

i'm finally leaving.

and i couldn't feel any...worse

i'm not happy like i should be.

i'm leaving dean.

once i make it a little bit down the road my phone dings from a text from my mom. it's a picture of me kissing dean and i smile as i start crying again. the picture isn't perfect by any means considering we're almost cut off but it's the last picture i have with dean so it's my favorite.
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a/n: THANK YOU SO MUCH! i hope y'all enjoyed this book, there will be a sequel. if you actually made it to this point i love you. i'm not the best at writing so knowing someone actually read and enjoyed my work enough to finish it makes me so happy.❤️