Locked Away

Chapter 33

A month passes and Meredith is beginning to improve. She no longer dreads going to see Dr Wyatt. At the beginning she would just sit there and stare at the fish but now she'll listen to what Dr Wyatt has to say and respond back.

The first appointment after the nightmare where she was back with Finn convinced Meredith to finally tell Dr Wyatt what happened to her when she was with Finn. Dr Wyatt had told her before that talking things through really helps get things off your mind. And Meredith realized that she was right.

Carolyn was even able to see changes in Meredith. She's still scared but there's big improvements on how she was before.

Today Meredith has another appointment with Dr Wyatt and Meredith has something she wants to talk to Dr Wyatt about.

Meredith walked downstairs and saw Carolyn sitting on the couch watching television.

"Hey Mer, ready to go?" Carolyn asked.

Meredith nodded. "Yeah I'm ready. We can go now."

"Okay. Are you feeling nervous about talking to Dr Wyatt today?"

Meredith shrugs. "I'm fine. It'll be okay." She gave a little smile. "I'm slowly getting there."

"Yes. Yes you are and I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you." Meredith smiled.

The two get in the car and drive to Seattle Grace. They arrive and walk from the parking lot to the hospital.

When they got to the area where Meredith was kidnapped from, Meredith stopped walking.

"Meredith? You okay?" Carolyn asked, worriedly.

Meredith didn't respond for a second and then took a few deep breaths. "Yeah, I'm okay. We can go in."

Carolyn was so proud of Meredith for being able to
use what she learned from Dr Wyatt in order to escape a hard situation.

They get to the psych floor and sit down in the chairs across from Dr Wyatt's office. Meredith picks up a magazine and begins to look through it.

A few minutes later Dr Wyatt's office door opens and Dr Wyatt calls out Meredith's name. "Meredith? Ready to come in? Hi Carolyn, good to see you again."

Meredith stands up and looks at Carolyn. "I'll see you in a while."

Meredith walks into Dr Wyatt's office and goes to sit in her normal seat on the couch.

"How are we doing today Meredith?" Dr Wyatt asks, after shutting the door and going to her chair.

"I'm doing okay." Meredith wants to say something else but doesn't know how to say it.

"You look like you have something on your mind. Would you like to tell me what that is?" Dr Wyatt gently pressed.

I'm kinda proud of something that I just did." Meredith whispers.

"And what was that?"

"When we got here and got to the spot... where you know... it happened... I kinda froze for a second but was able to get through it by taking deep breaths." Meredith said.

"Well done! I'm very proud of you! That took a lot of courage but you did it! I'm very proud of the progress that you've been making. When you first started seeing me, you were in no state to do that. You've overcome so much Meredith. You should be very proud of that."

"It's hard for me to be proud of it. Because of Finn you know. He just would always put me down and say I would never amount to much. Or say that I was useless. So it's hard for me to be proud of myself now." Meredith said.

"I understand where you are coming from. But he's not here anymore to control you. You don't have to be under his clutches anymore."

"I know. It's just so hard. And it's the same for my hair. I don't want to have it cut ever again because that's what Finn would do all the time to it. He would do it to control me and show that he owned me. And I know that it's so uneven but I just can't bring myself to even it out." Meredith sighed.

"Meredith, I think that in order for you to fully be your own person and out of Finn's control you need to start doing what you want to do. And a good first step would be to get your hair evened out. Just get it to an even length. You don't have to cut it much. Just enough so that it's all one length again. And then it'll be easier the next time you want to cut it again. Do you think you could do that?"

Meredith bit her lip. "I guess. I can try." Meredith looks very nervous and like she's about to cry.

"You can do this. It'll be hard but I know you have it in you. Just tell yourself that it's what you want and not what Finn wants."

Meredith lets out a deep breath. "Okay. I... I can do that."

"Also, I have something else I also want you to do but I don't want to throw two hard things at you at once."

"What is it?" Meredith asked.

"You need to start becoming more comfortable being around men. You need to learn that they aren't all like Finn. I know you've started getting more comfortable around Derek but you should work on being able to be comfortable with Mark as well. And just being able to be in the same room comfortably with men. But if you want to do this another time you can. I know it'll be difficult enough with your hair." Dr Wyatt said.

"No... I can try. I... want to be better and more comfortable. I want to be normal around them again. They're two of my best friends and I want that to continue. I've been able to be in the same room with Derek and be okay for the most part."

Dr Wyatt nods. "Okay. I'm very proud of how brave you are being. I can see how badly you want to get past all of this. But Meredith, if this is going to be too much for you to deal with then please do it slowly."

"I want to do this. I need to do this. I want to be out of Finn's control and I know that even with me not being with him he's still controlling me." She takes a deep breath. "I need to do this."

A little bit later the session ends and Meredith walks out of Dr Wyatt's office and sees Carolyn sitting there reading a magazine.

Carolyn looks up and sees Meredith. "Hey Mer. Did you have a good session?" She asks, smiling.

Meredith takes a deep breath. "C-can... can you even out my hair please? So... so it's not so uneven anymore please?"

Carolyn doesn't make a big deal or do much to celebrate this milestone. "Yes, of course I can. We can do it when we get back home. Would that be okay? Do you need anyone to come be with you while I cut your hair?"

Meredith takes another deep breath. "I want Derek and Mark. Well not during the haircut cause that's a lot. But after? They could come over for dinner? So that I'm not under Finn's control anymore? We don't have to if you don't want to. It's just an idea." Meredith rambles nervously, looking down at the floor.

Carolyn again doesn't make a big reaction but is cheering in her head for Meredith. "Yes! We can have them over for dinner! We could grill, it's a nice day for it. What do you think?"

Meredith nods slowly. "Yeah... that's fine."

Hope you enjoyed! Derek and Mark in the next chapter along with Mer's haircut!