Meredith sits in the passenger seat as Carolyn drives them home from her appointment with Dr Wyatt. Meredith fidgets in her seat and plays with her fingers because of her anxiety with getting her haircut. She wants to do it but it's just super hard.
"Mer, you're okay. Just breathe." Carolyn says softly to the panicking girl.
"I- I want this... but I'm scared. It's what Finn would do. He'd cut my hair whenever he wanted, just to control me. I know my hair looks bad because it's so uneven and short but the fact that you're going to cut my hair, which I want, just reminds me of him cutting it." Meredith whispers.
"I know, baby girl. You will get through this. I will get you through it." Carolyn soothes. She pulls into Mereidth's driveway and parks the car.
Carolyn gets out of the car and closes her door and starts walking towards the front door of the house but stops when she realizes Meredith isn't following her. She looks back towards the car and sees Meredith still sitting in the front seat of the car, staring straight ahead and playing with her fingers. Carolyn walks back towards Meredith and opens her door.
"Hey sweetie. I know you're scared but you will be just fine. I promise you that baby girl. I will not let anything happen to you. Finn is not here, he is not cutting your hair. So try not to worry too much about that part of it Mer. I know that's hard to do but you can do it. And you will be much happier with your hair once it's even again. It will be back under your control Meredith. Because Mer, when it's all uneven like this, you're still allowing Finn to control you. By allowing yourself to get your haircut you are taking back control of yourself."
"Okay." Meredith whispers. "I want control back. I really do. Can we go get my haircut now please?"
"Of course we can. I'm really proud of you sweetie." Carolyn gives Meredith a kiss on the head and then walks over to the driver's side and gets into the car. "And after that, why don't we text the boys and invite them over for dinner. Does that sound good? It's a lot so speak up if you decide not to do this tonight. You're doing amazing, sweetie."
Meredith lets out the breath she was holding. "No, I want to get more comfortable with Mark again. I'm good with Derek for the most part so that won't be too hard being near him but I want to get used to being around Mark again. I want to see them tonight. I want to be able to be normal around them again and not be scared. I know neither of them would ever hurt me. Derek proved that when I started being able to be near him again. I just need to fully be comfortable with him again and with Mark as well."
"We should look at old photos of all of you kids when they are here later. There's tons of them and I think that will help you feel a lot more comfortable around them." Carolyn suggests.
"I think that's a good idea." Meredith nods.
A few minutes later they get to the hair salon and they get out of the car. Carolyn quickly goes and explains the situation to the hairdressers, who remember hearing about Meredith on the news. They offer to do the haircut free of charge.
Meredith sits in the chair and stares at herself in the mirror while the lady cuts her hair. She starts whimpering when the lady cuts the first pieces of hair, her mind immediately going back to that basement with Finn.
"No! Finn! No! Please!" Meredith cries out.
The hairdresser immediately stops and pulls her hands away from Meredith's hair. She looks at Carolyn, her expression asking what she should do.
"Hey, you're okay. Finn is not here. I promise. You can do this Meredith! Finn is not here, baby girl. He will never hurt you again." Carolyn softly said to Meredith, pulling the girl in for a hug. Meredith whimpers and hugs Carolyn hard.
"I want this. I'm just getting flashbacks of being back in the basement." Meredith whispers. "It feels like Finn is cutting my hair."
Carolyn rubs Meredith's back as they continue to hug. "I know. I know it does. It's your first haircut after that. I know it's hard. But you can do this. Remember you'll take back your control when you do this. Why don't you hold my hands while she cuts your hair? Just concentrate on my voice." She takes Meredith's hands in her own.
The hairdresser starts working on Meredith's hair again after getting permission to continue. Meredith grips Carolyn's hands. She concentrates on Carolyn's voice saying soothing things to her and before she knows, her hair is all one length again.
"All done!" The hairdresser says. "What do you think?"
"I love it. Thank you." Meredith whispers, staring at herself in the mirror. "It's all one length again. My hair is normal again." Meredith smiles at herself in the mirror.
"It looks great Meredith! See! I told you you could do it! Doesn't it feel great taking control back over your hair again?" Carolyn asks.
Meredith nods. "Yes! My hair is mine again! I get to choose the length and not have it done for me." She smiles at Carolyn.
They say goodbye and leave the hair salon.
"Okay. Let's see if we can set up dinner with the boys tonight."
Carolyn texts both Derek and Mark about coming over for dinner and they both text back immediately agreeing to come over. Both are super excited to have dinner with Meredith. As it's already 3pm, both Derek and Mark say that they will come over soon.
Meredith smiles to herself, proud that she's working hard in her recovery by doing two hard things in one day.
An hour later both Derek and Mark arrive.
"Ma! We're here!" Derek says, coming into the house.
"Hi Derek! How are you?" Carolyn asks, giving him a hug.
"Carolyn! I brought you a present." Mark hands her a gift bag.
"Oh Mark, what have you done now?" Carolyn smiles and opens the bag. She pulls out a bottle of tequila and a photo frame with a picture of Mark framed inside. "You would bring me a picture of yourself. I love it, Mark. Thank you."
"Where's Mer?" Derek asked.
"She should be in the living room. I think she was watching a show." Carolyn says.
"How did her haircut go earlier?" Mark asked. "Did it go okay?"
"It was hard at first and she got scared but I was able to calm her down and get her through it. She did a great job. I know she's very proud of herself for being able to do that." Carolyn said.
"That's awesome! I'm so proud of her. She's been through so much." Derek said. "She has so much trauma to process."
"I want to give Meredith her present!" Mark says. "Let's go find her."
They walk into the living room and see Meredith watching a show. She sees them walk in and is a little bit hesitant. She's okay with Derek for the most part but is still a little scared of Mark.
"Meredith! Hi!" Derek says, smiling at her.
"Hi." She whispers, staring at Mark the entire time.
"How are you doing Mer? Your hair looks great." Mark says.
"I'm fine." She whispers, not taking her eyes off of him, needing to keep him in her sight at all times.
"I got you something." Mark hands her a gift bag.
She opens it and takes out a new blanket. "Thanks." She says softly, running her hands over the soft fabric.
"Here let me cut the tags off for you." Mark grabs a pair of scissors and Meredith's eyes go wide.
"No!" Meredith whimpers in fear. "Please don't! Please!" Meredith whimpers while putting her hands over her head, trying to protect her hair.
YOU ARE READING
Locked Away
FanfictionMeredith Grey is just an intern when she is kidnapped. What will happen? Will she be okay?
