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billieeilish look who the fuck just walked in🙄

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billieeilish look who the fuck just walked in🙄

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(I forgot to mention Reuben is African American and Mexican.)

A month later

Eloise

'I'm not my mother,' I replay that quote in my head from when I was 12 thinking if I smoked nicotine It won't get me high, but somehow it'll solve my problems.

It didn't solve my problems it only made shit worse for me, it was the first time I started lashing out. Shit got somewhat better, but I turned into a fucking shit show. I still blame myself for my mom going manic.

I try not to but I smoke weed, and I'm currently mixing it with alcohol, hard fucking liquor.

I stood up onto my feet but I stumbled, I fell right onto my butt and just decided to lay down my head on my rug. I groaned and slowly turned my head because I only started to feel sick.

I'm so pathetic.

My moms would be better off without me I'm such a sick disappointment.

I was supposed to be better than my mom and not be her.

I slowly got up and started walking, everything was moving slightly slow, my legs, the rest of my body.

Somehow I managed to make it to my mom's room. Her door was open, she does that to let us know that she's available. I opened the door to find mom on her bed listening to some soft music while drawing, probably new designs or something.

She looked up at me and signaled to me asking me what I needed.

"Mom please don't be mad at me"

"What is it baby?"

"Promise?"

"I promise what's wrong?"

"I'm drunk and I smoked so I'm pretty high too and I feel stupid"

"Eloise c'mon"

"You promised you wouldn't get mad," a couple of tears shed from my eyes, but I wiped them.

"I'm not mad baby c'mere"

I walked over to my mom's bed and she pulled the blankets over so I could climb into her bed, I laid my head down on a couple of her pillows.

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