Lost In Your Own Mind ~L.S~

10

__Harry__

we talked for a long time.. it was weird.

I never open up to anyone

Not my nan. Not my teachers. NO ONE 

so why him?

I kept thinking in my head, just letting the words 'WHY HIM' run through my brain.. but I couldn't ever find an answer.. 

He just.. cared. 

And no one else does.

Since that is the only thing I could come up with, I decided that was a pretty good answer. 

The thing is, though.. he cried. When I told him what my dad used to do, he cried. He cried and he said he was sorry.. and I never got past that.

A boy I just met, who has never hurt me in any way, is apologizing to me for something he didn't even do and he's just learning it.

"Louis?" I asked quietly

We'd both fallen silent a few minutes ago and we found ourselves just staring at the ceiling from our places on my big bed.

"Yeah, Haz?"

Haz. I needed to ask about that too. No one has ever called me a nickname before..

"Why'd you apologize when I talked to you about my abuse?" 

He sat up and stared down at me as if he was confused

"Why- why what?" 

"You said you were sorry.. when.. When i told you about my dad hurting me. Why?"

He stared for a second longer. I sat up too and looked him in the eyes.

"Why?" I repeated quieter

"You didn't deserve it. You know that.. right?"

I'd never thought about it before.. i mean.. somewhere, in the back of my mind....

I almost felt like I did.... I mean.. Didn't I?

"I.." I couldn't get anymore words out

"Oh, Harry.." his voice broke and I found tears in his eyes for a second time today

"You didn't deserve the beatings. You didn't deserve to bleed because of him. You didn't deserve the verbal, mental, or physical abuse. You were young and all young kids act out but.. but they never deserve to be hurt for no reason" he talked quietly too and tears started to leak from his dashing eyes

"You don't deserve to hurt" I told him seriously but my voice was quieter than his

"You don't deserve to be crying right now. Hell, you shouldn't even be here with me, Louis. I'm... I'm not gonna help you make friends. I'm the weirdo- the unnoticed kid. You can't be friends with me"

"I don't want to be friends with anyone but you, Haz, I promise."

"Haz" I repeated the name like I had been doing in my head

His smile returned, just for a second on one side of his pretty pink lips and he wiped his tears away with his fist like a child

"Yeah, I.. Is it okay if I call you that?"

"I've never.. had a nickname before" I admitted

He broke into a true smile and stopped rubbing at his eyes

I couldn't help but notice he had sorta puffy eyes too when he cries. Maybe it's not just me

But his eyes were pretty no matter what. There's the difference between us.

"Haz fits you perfectly. It's short and sweet and cute. And I'll never not call you it." he decided happily and I couldn't ruin his smile.. so I agreed.

He could call me whatever he wanted.

If he actually wanted to be friends.. I didn't care what nickname I got.

I cared that.. that he cared. That's what matters.

He cares.