Lost In Your Own Mind ~L.S~

37

__Harry__

I sat with my nan and held her hand tight.  

Mum sat in front of us both and started her long I'm Sorry speech..

As she told me she never meant to hurt me- or to let Dad hurt me- I realized she meant it. She cried real tears.. Tears that I remembered when the abuse first started. Before she became numb and cold. 

She said words I never thought I'd hear her say.. She remembered things I didn't think she remembered. I thought she pushed every memory of me out of her mind and gave up..

but her body gave up. It turned to alcohol while she was practically trapped in her mind.

She apologized for everything.. and then she explained why she was here now..

"Your father.. he.. he was very drunk and on some pills when he was driving home from the bar. There was a girl with him- a prostitute.. He sent me some terrible texts, insulting me, and.. he recked the car. He.. he died, Harry."

I stared at her..

Is it bad to say I wasn't hurt by this news?

I mean, I went through hell because of him. He still haunt me. Even after being a million miles away from him and have been for years... he haunts me. And now he's dead.. 

"I don't know what you want me to say" I admitted

"I don't expect you to be sad, Harry.. I'm not. He hurt you. He.. hurt me but most importantly, he tortured you. You didn't deserve that. You never did"

I nodded. I know I didn't deserve that. 

Louis says I didn't deserve it. 

"I. I need time... to... warm up to you?" I spoke shortly and watched my words carefully

She nodded

"I completely understand.. take whatever time you need. You don't have to call me mom or anything- just.. know that I'm here. And I want to be here. I want you, Harry. My son."

She smiled at me with tearfilled eyes and I nodded

"You're still my mum" I told her before looking at my grandmother

"Will she be staying?"

"Yes, dear.. She's gonna take the spare room. We got it cleaned up today." She nodded

"I'll make breakfast in the morning" I told my mum, "Nan taught me to cook. So.. I make a mean omelet" 

"That'd be amazing, dear- I.. I mean, Harry"

"It's fine, mom.." I smiled softly

She put her hand over her mouth and nodded as more tears fell

"I'd.. I'd like to go to bed now. It's getting late and I've had a long day" I admitted

"Of course.. Goodnight." mum said

"Night, baby" my grandma told me softly

I smiled at her then escaped the tense living room