Lost In Your Own Mind ~L.S~

32

__Harry__

We went outside with Stan and I started feeling a little sad again. Maybe it was the way Louis' hoodie rubbed the bandages on my wrists that I wasn't used to anymore. 

I used to have bandages all the time.. but after almost a month without them- they're itchy. And they're annoying. And it's like a constant reminder that I relapsed in Louis' floor last night...

When Stan ran inside to go pee, Louis turned to me and kissed me. This was different.

It's like he knew I was sad and just trying to keep up a smile.

He probably did know. I've never been a good actor..

"I'm gonna take you back to your house soon, love. Mom wants to take me and Stan out today or something." he whispered when he pulled away

"Okay.. have fun, baby" I smiled at him and nodded

"Don't.." he sighed and took both my hands

"I won't.. I'm.. I'm sorry I did it again.. I won't, though. Not now." I promised

"Never apologize.. just remember I am here. Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. I don't care if it's the middle of the night, I'll get my ass outta bed and come over, okay?"

"Okay.. okay, thank you"

"I'm gonna go tell mum what we're doing then we'll go, okay?"

I nodded. He rubbed his nose against mine before hurrying into the house..

A few minutes pass and when I hear the door open, I expect to see Louis.. but it's Stan

"Hey" he smiled

"Hi" I answered nervously.

I was fine around him- but now Louis isn't out here with me

"Look, I.. Louis falls really easily. and... he always thinks he can 'save' people.. so.. if he's just gonna get hurt by the end of this... don't stick around." he said before turning and going back inside

I just stood there

And when Louis came out, I told him I wanted to walk home alone.. but he protested. Of course.

"Really, it's.. it's fine. I need to think and.. get some things straight."

"Did.. Did Stan say something?" he frowned

"I promise, no. Okay? I'm gonna go..." 

I leaned up and pecked his lips 

He tried to move closer, to make the kiss longer, but I pulled away

"Hey.." he whispered, "you sure you're alright, baby?"

"I'm.." I hate lying to you. "just wanna think about some stuff.. we're okay. P- promise."

I broke my own heart as I turned away from him. With Stan's voice rushing around my head, I walked home and silent tears streamed down my cheeks

After last night.. seeing how scared that boy was.. seeing how he had to take care of me and worry about me...

He doesn't deserve that

He's only gonna get hurt if I cut too deep and...

Stan's right