Lost In Your Own Mind ~L.S~

35

__Harry__

Feeling a little better after the talk I had with Louis in the car, I went into the house and he drove back home. As soon as I went in, I just went upstairs. I didn't want to interrupt my nan if she had friend(s) over, so I went and got clothes and went to shower..

When I got in the shower, the water stung the scratches on my arms and I realized how much my pain tolerance had gone down since I'd been clean.. I liked that..

I didn't like the fact that I hurt myself again- but I liked the thought of being clean from self harm.

I washed my body and my messy curls, then I just stood under the warm water that felt like rain..

My mind started to wander and I couldn't help my thoughts..

I pictures Louis and I in the rain... dancing, laughing.. kissing

He's holding me, rubbing his thumbs into my hips.. My hands are in his hair and our tongues are playing in each other's mouths..

I opened my eyes and shut the water off before drying my body and hair with a towel. 

Memories of last night flashed through my head.. When I was sitting on Louis' lap..  We were both turned on.. I could feel his hard-on under me. Pressing against my inner thigh and bum..

I bit my lip and looked down at myself.. I slowly slid my hand down my body and took myself in my palm. I shivered from just stepping out of the shower- but also because I hadn't done this in quite some time..

I started to move my hand- slowly at first. I squeezed a little and tried to focus on my breathing as I continued to pleasure myself..

Images of Louis's lips, and his eyes, and our kisses flashed through my mind.

My hand sped up and I shut my eyes. 

My lips were parted and I couldn't help but pant as I worked myself to my finish.

When I was dressed, I blow-dried my hair and shook it out before pushing it to the side in my own sort of style. It's how I've always fixed my hair. Just simply pushing it back and shaking my curls. 

I sat on my bed with my little first aid kit and used anti-bacterial wipes on my arms, just to make sure they stayed clean, then I re-wrapped them and put on Louis' hoodie.

My tummy rumbled and I decided Nan wouldn't mind if I went downstairs to find food...

but when i got downstairs.. I realized she didn't have friends over

"M-mom.." I whispered, shocked and scared

My mother- My grandma's daughter- was standing in the kitchen, filling two glasses with water.

She was just staring at me.. She looked tired.. but she looked like me. Her dark brown hair, soft eyes, and her lips were just like mine..

"Harry.. we didn't realize you came home.." she whispered

I turned away from her and walked right into the living room. Tears were clouding my vision and when my Nan seen me, she just opened her arms and motioned me to her. 

I sat on the couch by her and she hugged me tight

"What.. what is she doing here?" I whispered through my tears that now began to fall

"I think she'd like to tell you herself, honey."

"No. I don't- I don't wann-na. talk... t-to her" I stuttered heavily like I used to when I was young

"Just hear her out, honey? For me?" she whispered as she pet my hair