Merthur - Arthur's Secret

Chapter 9 - Can I Still Believe In Him?

Arthur's POV

I run into my chambers and lock the double doors. I collapse onto the bed, I bring my hands up to my face and start to sob.

I hurt Merlin. He's probably dead already. That spell was powerful, it could kill a trained knight in one blow. There was no way someone as frail as Merlin could have survived. It would take a miracle.

I look out the window at the stars that shined brightly in the sky. It reminded me of my first kiss with Merlin and I quickly turn away, but no matter where I look, memories of Merlin floated up into my mind. His goofy smile and his cheerful laugh followed me everywhere.

He hates me. I know it.

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Merlin's POV

I wake up early the next morning. My chest still aches but otherwise the pain's bearable. I sit up on the patients bed. Immediately, my head begins to throb. I lift a hand up to my head and feel stitches. That explains it.

I slowly get up and stumble towards my room. I grasp the wall and pull myself up the few flights of stairs. I just noticed Gaius is gone. He must have gone to treat Uther.

I crash through the door of my room and slowly change. After I finish putting on my blue neckerchief, I, once again, begin the trek across Gaius chambers and to the door.

By the time I'm out in the hall, Gaius rounds the corner.

"Merlin! You should be in bed!" He calls, attempting to pull me back into the room.

I shake my arm away and I turn to face him. "Gaius, I'm fine but I need to find Arthur," I tell him quickly and start to rush away as best I can.

I notice Gaius watch me from behind. He stares at my back worriedly but let's me go. He knows how much Arthur means to me.

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I make it outside Arthur's chamber door. I lean against the wall and breathe heavily, trying to catch my breath. A bead of sweat rolls down my forehead as I continue to pant.

When I start to feel better I turn to face the door. I reach out a hesitant hand and pull at the double door. It's locked. I knock on the door gently, not wanting to startle him.

"Arthur?" I call, "it's me. It's Merlin."

"Merlin?" I hear him mumble quietly.

"Yes. Merlin."

"Merlin!?"

I hear a loud crash as Arthur stumbles to the door. He unlocks it and throws it open. Relief floods his face when he sees me. He drags me into the room and locks the door again. He pulls me into a hug.

"You're alive..." He whispers into my ear.

"You won't get rid of me that easily." I joke, letting out a light chuckle.

I see a small smile tug at the corner of his lip but instantly it drops. His eyes change from happiness to fear. He breaks away from me abruptly, backing away until his back hits the wall.

"Don't come near me Merlin. Please... it's safer if you just stay away."

I stare at him in shock. He was breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling at a frightening pace. I finally realize how terrible he looked at the moment. His eyes are red and puffy, and tear stains ran down his cheeks. It was clear he hadn't slept all night. I take a step towards him.

"Arth-" I'm interrupted by Arthur's shout.

"No! Don't come any closer. I...I don't want to hurt you again... You're not safe around me anymore. I'm a monster. My father is right, magic... is evil. All it does is cause pain."