I Have To Tell You Something (d.m x reader)

30- D

"Come to think of it, I'd felt it pulsating before, ever so slightly, but I never gave it a second thought." Theo muttered as we waited outside the doors of McGonagall's office.

The pulsating, was just the beginning.

"Boys? Come in." She opened the door, a confused but calm look upon her face. I looked down in shame as we walked in.

We explained, them more than me, as I was quiet about the whole situation, worried for what this would mean for me.

"I see.. please go back to your dorms while I talk to the Minister of Magic, I will be announcing whatever it may be at dinner," she paused, looking at all of us, stopping her gaze to me. "If you ever need help or have concerns, come to me." She urged.

I guessed that she did not want a repeat of last time.

We nodded, saying our good byes as we went back to our dorms in silence to reflect, but on my way up I was stopped by someone holding my arm.

"What's wrong?" She asked, concern on her features.

I turned my head over my shoulder to look at her, not fully turning my body, I couldn't face anyone. I stared at her blankly trying to find the words.

And, I couldn't say anything, I didn't know how to speak to her properly, I always found myself calculating my next words, being afraid to mess it up. One wrong step and it's over, I've made too many mistakes to have another chance.

Turning away, I made my way up to my room leaving her behind.

The same feeling of someone's gaze burning through the back of my head I realise was truly the paranoia from being a death eater. This was my reality that I had to live with, and survive.

I was under the covers in my bed the whole day, thinking about the events that happened before and the events to happen for the future. I was beyond anxious.

Dinner had finally rolled around. Did I really want to show up? I did not want to, but had to.

I stood just outside the doors of the Great Hall with Theo and Blaise, listening in on McGonagall's speech.

We'd then hear the cries and yells from behind the stone walls.

"Please, please," she urged. "Don't be alarmed, witches and wizards. This is nothing to worry about." She calmed them down with her powerful voice.

"If we do become a target of attack, we will go into a lockdown, do not worry, and we have extra measures this time. This time is not as bad as what we had to face before. You are all capable." She comforted.

I somewhat felt relieved.

I went to the kitchens instead to get my dinner and eat it in my room, not wanting to face the embarrassment I'd feel of being Draco Malfoy under the eyes of the other witches and wizards around me.

This would pass I'd hope, that it would be nothing but a false alarm.

What would come after the pulsating? Pain? More pain than I had already endured of being a death eater? The pain of being a pure blood heir?

I wished sometimes that I was someone else, in an easy family, with an easy life, but that would never belong to me. It was not mine.