Just that Sinner

33

It's early in the morning and Meagan is woken up by Amethyst shouting on the phone in the kitchen.
"What the fuck?" Amethyst shouts into the phone.
"Can't he just let us mourn?!" She continues.
"I know, I was shocked too." The attorney replies.
"You denied it though right?" Amethyst asks.
"Yes, of course, his request to go to the funeral was also denied." The attorney answers then says, "I tell you this because he apparently has been writing letters to send to Meagan's parents. We put a stop to it but I'm not sure if any of them have been sent beforehand but please, if they get to you, don't read them and just throw them away." Amethyst is told.
"Thank you, I will. I appreciate you telling me and for all you've done. I better go check on Meagan though." Amethyst says, completely done with the conversation. The attorney agrees and they say they're r goodbyes, around the corner is Meagan.  "Well hello love, how long have you been up?" Amethyst asks.
"What did he do?" Meagan asks, disregarding Amethyst's question.
"Well, Ryan wanted to be on the broth certificate and go to the funeral. The requests were denied but apparently, he's been writing letters to mail to your family." She tells her.
"So my parents will give him their address but won't talk to me? Great." Meagan says. She rolls her eyes, trying to be mad but in reality, she is just heartbroken and sad.
"They will talk to their daughter's rapist but not their daughter?" She rants as she starts to pace the room.
"Meagan, we don't know that for sure," Amethyst says, trying to calm her.
"We basically do," Meagan says, still pacing. Amethyst notices Meagan's eyes watching the busy road from the window and then looking at the door, she remembers what has happened before and tries to get Meagan to calm down.
"Come here, love," Amethyst says, holding out her arms.
Meagan shakes her head, "It's just not fair! I don't fucking understand! Why me? Why must I be put through all of this? Is it really God punishing me for being in love with you?" She yells, then looks back at the road, then the door.
Amethyst knows where Meagan's mind is going and when Meagan bolts to the door, Amethyst is one step ahead. She goes in front of her and holds onto Meagan tightly.
"Let me go! Why can't I die? My baby is dead and I should be too." Megan yells and thrashes her body around.
"Because I need you. I need you to be here. I want you and I need you, I don't care if it's selfish of me but I'm not letting you go." Amethyst says and holds Meagan tighter. Amethyst holds Meagan's head into her chest and doesn't let her go. Meagan slowly calms down and her anger turns to sadness.
"I wish I could die." She quietly cries.
"I know, but you aren't allowed to," Amethyst tells her, kissing the top of Meagan's head.
"I love it when you kiss my head like that," Meagan tells her.
"Well, that's another reason for you to stay alive then. I can't lose both my girls." Amethyst says, she kisses Meagan's head again and starts to cry as well.
"I won't let that happen," Meagan says, her body slowly relaxing more and more into Amethyst's arms.
"Thank you, baby," Amethyst says.
Meagan just smiles, looks up, and quickly kisses Amethyst before burying her head back into her chest.  Through all the craziness, Amethyst has brought her a sense of serenity. Meagan has done the same for Amethyst but still Amethyst is searching for peace. She slowly has been fading into someone she doesn't want to be, she's been spending more time on her phone, talking to people she shouldn't, and not telling Meagan.
After Meagan falls asleep, Amethyst quickly steps outside and takes care of business before going back into her house. It's a cycle that's going to come crashing down sooner rather than later and neither of them is prepared for. Amethyst cries a lot, and Meagan cries as well, she doesn't know what to say so she doesn't say anything. It's become a common theme for her, it scares her a bit. It scares her how quickly she can lose herself and how quickly life can be given and taken away. "I wish I would've known how hard this would be." Meagan begins to ramble. "The pain from giving birth reminds me of being raped and now losing a baby, why do I have to stay strong?" She asks. Amethyst didn't think about that part, how the soreness would probably bring back bad memories for Meagan, "You need to stay strong for me and your future." She tells her, trying her best to comfort her. Meagan doesn't want the comfort though, she just wants her baby back.