This Is Me

A Happy Moment (Part One)

A Happy Moment (Part One)

Time slowly went by as Blaire, and I continued to hold each other. The laptop screen had long been asleep as we both bathed in the silence that overtook us. There wasn't much else to say after what I had seen, not that anything more needed to be said. The words of encouragement from my peers online had done what they were intended to do. Though, I still couldn't help but feel alone.

I was in the arms of one of my best friends and had the supportive words of those at school still circling my head, so why did I feel like this? Why was I only focusing on the one person who turned away from me?

With my mind settling down on the thought of Leroy, I felt my phone begin to vibrate in my pocket, and I shifted out of Blaire's arms to grab it. Blaire moved around to give me some space as I looked at who was calling.

"It's Andy," I said, looking at Blaire who gestured at me to answer it.

I felt my heart start to beat faster as I moved the phone to my ear.

"Butter Sliced Banana Bread," Andy said immediately, and with that random assortment of words, my heart settled down.

Nothing had changed.

"Ferocious Finger Sticks," I said back with a smile, and I saw Blaire roll her eyes.

"Are you doing, all right? I was hoping to catch you in homeroom, but Blaire said you left school."

"I'm okay. I just... had to take some time, you know?"

"Totally. I'm just glad you're okay." Andy's voice was laced with sincerity, which calmed me even more.

"Me, too. I looked on the school's social wall, and I noticed you hadn't posted anything," I joked, and I heard Andy chuckle.

"I was saving it all for in person."

"Well, tomorrow morning then?" I asked, not able to keep the tinge of hope out of my voice.

"Yeah, of course. Just... You don't need to pick me or Leroy up. I'll tell you how proud I am at school."

My stomach dropped at Andy's words, but I did my best not to miss a beat.

"Yeah, yeah. No problem," I said, forcing a smile.

"Pete, you can't take what Leroy did to heart. I'm working it out."

"Don't worry about it."

Why the fuck would I say that? He should worry about it. I sure as hell was. I wanted to talk to him and ask him what was wrong. I mean, I had a feeling it was because I'd leant in to kiss him, but he hadn't made any indication that he'd seen me leaning in on the afternoon it'd happened.

I wouldn't even know what to say to him if I did see him. Should I apologise? But I hadn't done anything wrong. Right? No, I had. This was me—I couldn't blame anyone else.

The thoughts of what to do continued to roll over in my mind as I heard Andy ramble about Leroy and that he was going through some things, which I already knew. I had seen it. I'd added to it. Nothing quite like your gay best friend making a move on you and having your father yell at you for something you didn't do.

"Can I talk to Blaire for a second?" Andy's voice cut through my thoughts, and I looked over at Blaire, who was already staring at me.

"Uh, yeah, sure," I said, moving the phone away from my ear and holding it out for Blaire. "Andy wants to talk to you."

Blaire raised her eyebrows as she took the phone.

"Yeah?" Blaire said, before nodding along to whatever Andy was saying. "All right. Be right back, Pete."