This Is Me

Fireworks (Part One)

Fireworks (Part One)

The sea of students surrounding me remained silent, aside from a few gasps here and there, everyone was waiting for the video to continue.

I could see several people scanning frantically around the assembly hall until their eyes landed on me.

I, of course, had no idea what to do, so settled for squeezing Blaire's hand, while Andy wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

Blaire's eyes were trained on me, and I could feel them burning a hole in the side of my skull. She had been in the dark about everything, so I could only imagine what was going through her mind, and I'm sure she was trying to figure out what was going through mine. But even I didn't know that.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, nothing was going on in my mind. No worry or fear. No anxiety or constant questions.

Blank.

Nothingness.

My sight was focused on the screen at the front of the hall. Focused on Leroy, and there was nothing else that mattered.

"I don't know when you'll see this, or if you'll see this before I see you, but I needed you to know. I need everyone to know. Because I'm tired of pretending to be everything I'm not."

More heads around the hall began to swivel around to find me, and whispers began to break out, but I didn't know what they were saying.

I didn't care.

All I cared about was Leroy, however, the quietness of my mind was no longer.

I could see Leroy's mouth continue to move on the screen as his video played, but I wasn't taking in anything he was saying.

My main thought, the one that was pounding in my head and drowning out all other noise was: is Leroy okay?

I knew his situation. I knew what had been happening to him—what his father had been doing. Hearing what Leroy was continuing to say didn't matter, only what could be happening to him did.

With my eyes still fixated on the screen and my mind still racing, Leroy's video came to an end, and it was met with small applause as Riley and Trish continued with the ceremony.

It felt wrong to stand in the assembly hall after hearing Leroy and do nothing, knowing it was more than likely Leroy's father would take action on Leroy's decision—on who he was.

But what could I do?

"Pete," Blaire's voice managed to slip into my ear, and I looked over at her.

I could tell she was shocked, and I could see a part of her was excited. After all, she knew how much I liked Leroy. She didn't, however, know the whole story.

Giving her a half-hearted smile, I turned to Andy who had tightened his grip around my shoulder. His face had lost all colour and I could see fear in his eyes. The same fear that was snaking its way through my body.

The world around us continued, with students laughing and cheering for the posts being shown on screen, and jeering when Trish brought a large, colourful box onto the stage.

"Thank you, Trish. Now, in this comically large box, is one name. Yes. Only one tiny piece of paper is in this box, and it contains the name of the Peer of the Year!" Riley announced, and the students around us got even louder.

It was then, I knew what I needed to do.

"I have to go," I said quietly, peeling Andy's off from around me.

"Pete?" Blaire questioned, but I shrugged her off.

"I have to go," I repeated, slowly backing away from my friends.

"Where?" Cooper asked, and I gave a simple answer.

"Leroy."

"I'll come," Andy said, moving away from Carly and toward me.

He was the only other person who truly knew what was happening, and while I needed the support, he needed to be at the ball.

"No. What if he comes here? You'll be the only one who understands."

"What're you talking about?" Blaire interjected, but it was Andy who shrugged her off this time.

"Call me if anything happens."

"I will."

"Peter!" Blaire said aggressively, and I looked at her and gave her the best smile I could muster.

"I'm sorry. I'll see you later." I nodded at her and Cooper, both of whom looked at me with disbelief. "Enjoy the ball."

"Peter!" Cooper called after me as I turned on my heel and began pushing my way through the sea of students.

None of them tried to stop me, which I was thankful for, though, a lot of them didn't bother to move out of my way either. Some of them wanted to wink and give me the thumbs up, which would have been welcomed if the situation was different.

But it wasn't and all I wanted was for them to get out of my way.

Finally breaking through the last of the students, I practically stumbled out the door and into the warm night air. Dodging a few students standing outside the entrance, I continued toward the field where I had parked my car, weaving in and out of the other vehicles in the way.

As I got closer to where I thought I parked, my eyes frantically darted from car to car, trying to find mine. With each vehicle my eyes landed on, a new worry started to creep in and as I finally spotted my own it had been right to sneak it.

"Fuck!" I yelled and came to a halt in front of my car, slamming my hands down on its roof.

The way everyone had parked their car had caused several of them to be boxed in with no hope of getting out, and my car was one of them.

My mind continued to run wild while I stood at my car, not sure what to do.

Everything had worked out for me. I got my friends and made new ones. I was accepted into my home. I was loved, and I could be myself. But Leroy didn't. Leroy couldn't be himself. Unless he was with me.

'When I'm with you, I feel like I can. I've always felt like I can.'

And now it was out in the open. He wasn't going to try to hide anymore, and I knew what that meant.

I needed to get to him.

"Fuck it," I muttered to myself, pushing off my car.

Turning around, I quickly got my bearing on where I needed to go, and I started to run.

I wasn't fit and I didn't know how long my body could handle running, but I didn't care. So, I kept running. Weaving in and out of the parked cars until I got to the road, and then I kept going.

I was determined not to stop until I reached Leroy. I couldn't stop. I had promised myself and Andy that when he needed me, I'd be there. And no matter what, I was going to be there.

The burning quickly started in my legs with each pounding step on the pavement and my lungs began to cry out for help, though I did my best to ignore it all.

The thumping of my heart and pounding of blood in my ears was rhythmic as adrenaline flooded my body with each thought of Leroy and what could be happening to him.

I hoped, more than anything, Leroy had gotten out of the house after he made the video. Surely he wouldn't stick around and wait.

At least, I hoped.