Harem of Side Characters [Rewrite]

Chihiro Shiranami - How to Smile

I hear a soft knock on my door late at night.

"...Can we talk for a while...?"

"...Shiranami?"

"I'm sorry for coming so late... I just... wanted to come see you for a while."

I shook the sleepiness away from my eyes only to find a teary-eyed Shiranami outside my door, glancing nervously around the empty halls of the boy's dorm.

"Is something going on?" I ask her as I let her enter my room.

"Maybe... I don't know... Technically nothing has happened yet. But something might happen tommorow, and I'm nervous and panicking. I just... wandered here hoping you were around, as you're my only friend not in Class B." She sits on the side of the bed as I stand in front of her.

"I'm planning to confess to someone." She blurts out. Ah, I see.

"...and I assume this person is from Class B, and that's why you don't want to tell anyone from your class?" I tentatively ask.

"...Yes, though theres another reason why I don't want to tell them." I give her a nod. I won't pry for information.

"So you have it all planned out?"

"...Not really. I have a plan in my head, but actually doing it is a whole different thing. I don't want to make it seem too sudden, and I've never confessed to anyone before so I'm afraid of doing something wrong." Confessing to someone is certainly hard. On paper its just as simple as telling someone how you feel, however its more complicated than that.

"The person I like is popular... and even if she does accept my confession, doing that would probably make people look at her differently."

"...Her?" Shiranami's eyes widen, I suppose she didn't mean to expose herself like that. So she's in love with a girl, that certainly makes things a lot more complicated than I first expected. It's probably also the reason she's so hesitant to tell her other girl friends about her situation.

"I guess you would have found out anyway. Yes, I'm going to confess to and be rejected by a girl." She faces me with a resigned smile.

Has she already decided that she's going to be rejected?...

"You make it sound as if you've already given up."

"There's a big difference between giving up, and accepting how things are. Accepting my confession would have major repercussions on her reputation and social life, and I'm really just being selfish by confessing. But...maybe I need to be rejected. Maybe that's what needs to happen in order for me to move on...what do you think?"

"Why does what I think matter at all. It isn't about me."

"Hehe, I guess you're right. I'm sorry for pushing all my problems to you."

"Haven't I already told you stop apologizing multiple times?" My small joke manages to lighten up her eyes a bit, but it quickly fades back out.

"...You can sit on the bed. This is your room after all, I can get off if you're uncomfortable."

"It's fine. You can stay." I say as I move towards the bed. Shiranami shifts a bit as I sit down next to her. I'm not an expert at making people feel better, however I assume having someone close to you will help. Or maybe it will just make her uncomfortable, which might divert her attention away from her distress.

"...So, do you have any advice for a girl on her deathbed?"

"You're not on your deathbed."

"Mental deathbed. I'm probably going to... shut down a bit after my confession."

"And what if in some alternate universe, this girl accepts your confession?"

"Then I'd shut down from joy. It would be a horrible first impression as a girlfriend, haha." Her eyes get even more watery, from imagining a world she will never get.

"...When I confess, I might run away into your dorm. If I do...will you let me sleep here?"

"...I'm sorry, what?"

"The girl I like is very selfless. After she rejects me, she'll without a doubt go looking for me in my room to make me feel better. If I'm not there, she'll check every single one of my classmates' rooms and ask them if they've seen me. That's just how selfless she is."

"She sounds like a great person."

"Yes, she is." A short silence ensues as Shiranami makes more room in her mind for unrequited love.

"...I just need a place to hide from her. That's all. Eh...?" I placed my hand on top of head, and softly rubbed it. She looks at me questioningly, but doesn't shy away from my touch.

"...I'm sorry, I know we aren't that close yet, but I'm not really sure how else to comfort you. Just know that it takes a lot of strength to confess to someone. If you feel weak afterwards, I'll be here for you."

I bet you're wondering why I'm comforting her. In truth, wether or not she collapses in on herself is of no importance to me. However, by finding the willpower within herself to grasp what she wants, I know it will make her a stronger person in the end. Even if I'm a horrible human being, I do believe that there are some relationships worth preserving.

"This feels nice... Can I ask you to do this if I come here again?"

"Do what?"

"Just... rub my head and tell me everything will be okay. I want to pass out knowing that there is someone there to protect me, and stop me from doing anything stupid." She gives me her first genuine smile since she came here. All of her smiles before have been crooked, as if she's trying not to cry.

"If I'm about to do something stupid, please just squeeze me really tight and don't let me go."

"You're giving a boy permission to hug you so you won't leave?"

"That is correct. I'm probably being illogical, but I guess that just shows how desperate I am. Logic doesn't apply to a girl in love anyway." She's too shaken up to even consider the repercussions of sleeping in the same room as a boy, and giving them permission to hug her.

Any other boy might take advantage of that situation, but I'm not going to. If the confession is going to go anything like I expect it to be, I'm not sure if tragedy is even enough to describe it. So I'll just be a pillar for her to lean on. Something preventing her from falling.

"...Do you think I'm just being impulsive? Should I...wait a bit longer before confessing?"

"Can you wait a bit longer?"

"...Probably not. I can barely even look at her. Everytime our eyes meet I instantly go red, and I can barely form a sentence."

"When we first met you could barely form a sentence. You were stuttering all the time."

"T-that's different! I was nervous about meeting someone new..." Shiranami gives me a pout before moving to get off the bed.

"In all seriousness though... thank you. Venting to you made me feel a lot better. I feel tired, so I'll go back to my room for the time being." Crying truly is exhausting at times.

"If you ever need to vent again, I'm all ears."

"...I'll keep that in mind." She gives me a soft smile and a wave, before leaving my room.