Destroy me - KAI PARKER

57. || Lose yourself

"You look beautiful."

Bonnie smiled at me through mirror, admiring the work of art she had done with my dark hair. I looked beautiful, but I felt like a train wreck. Bonnie seemed to recognize my empty stare and lowered her stare.
None of my friends really got the chance to make me speak since I found out about Kai.

In these past four weeks I did everything I could to find Kai and help him turn it on again.
But you can't find someone who doesn't want to be found.

The more time passed the more I buried my hope.
If Kai would live too long without his humanity that he got through the merge, he would be the sociopathic killer he was when I met him, or even worse.

"Layla?"

My brothers voice made me snap back to reality. I looked into the mirror to see Enzo wearing a dark green tie that matched Bonnies dress. At least they got the happy ending they deserved.

"You look gorgeous little sister."

He laid his hand on my shoulder and proudly glanced at me through the mirror. I sighed. There was nothing else to say. I was tired of hearing compliments and empty words to make me believe everything was alright.

I was breaking apart and they all chose to ignore it and hope it would just go back to normal and that I would forget about the probably biggest tragedy pf my entire life. I loved them but I couldn't fight that little bit of hate inside me. I hated them all for forcing me to get back to normal.
I hated them for not letting me grief in peace.

Suddenly my ears recognized Elenas voice from downstairs. She was talking to Damon, I couldn't care less about their relationship, but as soon as my name dropped off her lips, I listened closely and so did Enzo.

"I don't care Damon! She's acting like a child whose toy got taken away!"

"Elena.."

"No! This is Alaric and Jos special day! She should get herself together- Yes! I get that she's heartbroken but it was just Kai- who cares about him?"

A sarcastic laugh left my throat as soon as I heard what this little bitch had to say about the man I loved. I pushed Enzo out of my way and stepped to the commode with make up wipes on it.
Bonnie realized what I was up to, so she ran towards me and ripped the package out of my hands.

"Layla don't-"

"Get your bloody hands off of me Bonnie."

I didn't even have to yell at her. My calm voice was enough to scare her away. Enzo stepped in and made Bonnie leave the room. He watched me wipe the make up off my face and when I was finished I ripped the clips out of my hair.

"Are you done?"

My brother asked with crossed arms and a deadly expression on his tired face. I took out the last clip and smashed it onto the wooden commode to signalize Enzo that I was indeed done.
He took a deep breath after that and walked closer to me.

"Is it about a date? I saw how you looked at Bonnie and I- if it's about a date for the wedding you can go with Donovan–"

"I don't care about a date Enzo! He is gone- Do you hear me?"

My brother looked like he was getting angrier at me with every second passing by.

"What's so special about Kai?! You're almost 200 years old you've had worse break ups Odessa why are you letting yourself go over a guy?"

"Because I love him Enzo. And I will continue loving him until I inhale my last breath, so if you want to continue your hurting speech you can fuck yourself."

Just as I wanted to leave the room, Enzo grabbed my wrist to prevent me from running away again.

"Alright. I apologize- and now tell me why you're so upset."

I couldn't believe what he was asking me to tell him. Wasn't it obvious?! Was he so blind to see why I was hurting?

"Are you serious?"

Enzo looked me deep in the eyes and nodded, being fully serious about his stupid question. I gulped heavily and whispered a little "wow okay-" before stepping in front of the mirror again.
I grabbed Enzos arms and turned him to face the mirror as well.

"What do you see Enzo?"

My brother seemed confused but he knew I was up to something, so he sighed and told me that he saw himself and his little sister.

"Do you see Layla Odessa St. John when you look into that mirror- or do you see an empty silhouette of someone who used to be your little sister?"

I took a deep breath to not break out in tears as I yelled at myself in the mirror.

"Because I- dear brother- I hate who I'm looking at. I would do anything to get her back but I can't."

Enzo flinched a bit when I smashed my fist into the mirror, causing it to break into hundreds of pieces. Blood was flowing off my fist on to my red dress, but I couldn't care less. The wound healed immediately, but I continued bleed from the inside.

"Do you understand now Enzo? I didn't just lose the love of my life- I've lost myself."

My brother closed his eyes in pain and pulled me into a tight hug. I knew he was feeling guilty. He always made it a priority for him to look after me and now he failed- once again.
His little sister was broken and there was nothing he could do to fix her.