Revealing Kane

7 - Shattered Hopes

I walk up the street toward John's house. My insides are a flutter with nerves. I can't believe I'm doing this, but he has to know. I cannot keep my situation hidden from him.

As I approach his house, I see a beautiful girl lingering by the gate. Just great. She must be a fan. I don't want to deal with that nonsense. Maybe if I ignore her, she won't bother me. But even though I'm a model, her beauty makes me feel self-conscious. She is well built: curvy and large-breasted. She also has platinum blonde hair and a beautiful face. John would be attracted to her, I think as I reach the gate.

I look up at John's house. The curtains are drawn, and there are no lights on. I turn and notice the Porsche is gone. Damn it. He must be out. I'll have to come back later.

As if to confirm my thoughts, the blonde says, "John isn't home. He said he had to run out for something."

"Oh. Okay," I respond, scrunching my eyebrows as I wonder how this girl would know that. Or why John would tell her.

I continue up the sidewalk, deciding just to pop over to see Yasmin for a bit. She'll be happy for the visit, I'm sure. Besides, maybe I can gauge from her how John is doing. Find out if he misses me.

I climb the familiar steps and lightly smile as I knock. I loved living here for those months, as Yasmin and Simon were so kind to me. I wonder how they would feel about my predicament. The front door opens, and as soon as I see Yasmin's smiling face, I burst into tears. She gathers me into her arms and pulls me inside.

We are soon seated at the kitchen table while we wait for the kettle to whistle. I'm still sniffling and quietly crying, and Yasmin is letting me. I think she knows why I've come to visit. Once I wind down, she offers me tissues, and I clean up from my weeping breakdown.

"What brings you here? Everything all right?" Yasmin asks, and I lower and shake my head. "Is this about John?" she wisely asks, and I now nod my head.

"I miss him," I whisper, still looking at my hands as they fret with a clean tissue.

"He misses you, too," Yasmin reveals.

I snap my head up, my eyes searching hers for confirmation. And I see the sorrow she feels for me, along with the truth. John loves me and misses me. I'm the idiot who messed it all up. And now I have a burden to unload.

"There's something more," I tell Yasmin, tears once more pricking at my eyes. "But you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not even Simon. I have to talk to John first, but he's not home, and I'm so scared-"

"You're pregnant," Yasmin sighs out, sounding both concerned and disappointed.

I feel shocked as I stare at Yasmin. How did she know? Is it written on my face or something?

"How far?" Yasmin curtly asks.

"Not very. I just realized I never got my period a few days ago and took a test," I tell her, and again, she sighs.

"Why weren't you more careful?" Yasmin asks as she reaches for my hand. I slip my hand into hers and squeeze.

"We were careful. We always used condoms. Except for one time the night he gave me the ecstasy. I didn't even realize it until a lot later since I was so out of it. And now... I'm so scared, Yas. What am I going to do? I know John doesn't want a baby, and it's going to ruin my modeling career-"

"Stop that," she lightly scolds. "John will do what is best. And being pregnant might actually help your career. It's a niche market. But if there's a scandal about John being the father..."

A silence settles between us. I've revealed my secret, even before I've told John. Yasmin looks worried and, yes, disappointed. I can tell she is thinking about my situation. Maybe she has some ideas on how I should handle it all.

The tea kettle begins to whistle, and Yasmin jumps up to quiet it. She makes two mugs of tea and sets them on the table as she sits back down. And as I take my first sip, Yasmin speaks.

"Have you been to the doctor?"

"Not yet. I want to tell John first. I don't know how he'll react. What if he wants me to... You know... Have an abortion," I say, trying not to think about that.

"He might," Yasmin honestly answers. "But I don't know. He might surprise you."

Yasmin then asks me how I feel physically and emotionally. I tell her I'm a wreck. And when I tell her I don't know exactly how far along I am, she helps me figure it out. Going by my last period, I'm a little over six weeks pregnant. Just knowing that sends my heart racing.

Just then, we hear the front door open, followed by humming. Simon is home.

"Please don't tell him," I whisper to Yasmin, who nods and looks to the kitchen doorway.

The second Simon sees me, his face lights up, and he rushes to me, hugging me from behind. I giggle at his enthusiasm as he sits in the chair beside me.

"So good to see you," Simon enthuses.

"Were you at the studio today?" Yasmin asks as she prepares him a cup of tea.

"Yep. Things are going all right. Johhny's not, though. He seems so off," Simon says, looking right at me.

What is Simon trying to tell me? Does John miss me? If so, I really need to talk to him. Make sure he knows how I feel about him.

"Do you know if he's home? I was going to go see him," I ask as Yasmin gives Simon his mug of tea.

"Lights were on when I passed just now. And I think it's a great idea. You two have loads to talk about, I'm sure," Simon says to encourage me.

"I should go then," I say, getting to my feet. "It was lovely to see you both. I'll call you, Yazzy," I say, and she nods. "Night, guys," I add and head out of their house.

Moments later, I'm standing at John's gate again. Lights shine through the closed curtains, and the Porsche is at the curb. John is definitely home. It's time to tell him.

I march up the stairs, determined to tell John everything. Maybe we will reconcile. Or maybe the opposite will happen, and John will throw me out. I won't know until I try. When I reach out to knock, I realize the door is slightly ajar. Should I just go in? Surprise John? I decide yes and push open the door.

The first thing I realize is that music is playing. It's Duran Duran's Rio, to be exact. Why would John listen to his own music? I step further into the house, wondering where John is exactly. And then I find him.

John is sitting in the center of his big couch, his arms spread open on the back of it, and his head is rolled back. Between his open knees kneels a curvy blonde woman, her head bobbing up and down in his lap. I realize it's the fan from earlier, and she is giving him a rather enthusiastic blow job.

"John," I say as my world tilts.

He's over me. I knew he would move on and forget me. I'm such a stupid idiot.

John must hear me because he lifts his head. The second our eyes meet, time seems to slow. John's mouth hinges open as I bring my hand to my already gaping mouth. John lurches forward, grabbing the blonde and pushing her aside as I turn to run. John leaps to his feet, fumbling with his open trousers as I head for the door. John chases after me, but I'm already outside. I freeze, knowing I need him to know about the pregnancy.

"Allison," John breathes as he steps up beside me.

I've wanted to hear him say my name for days. Tears fill my eyes as I want to leap into his arms and tell him everything.

"What the hell?" I hear as the blonde appears behind John. "I thought we were going to have sex."

I can't do this. He's moved on. I'm old news. But I need him to know about the baby.

"Allison, please," John says as I reach into my purse.

When my fingers find it, I yank the molded plastic out. I say nothing, just slam the object into the middle of John's chest, letting him see my anger and hurt. The test falls into John's hands, and he looks at it. Then a dawning fills his face as he looks up at me.

"It's positive," I snarl, turn, and run down the steps.

"Allison!" John yells, but I'm already out of his gate. "We need to talk!"

"Fuck you!" I yell as I disappear up the street.