Revealing Kane

50 - Small Steps

The following morning, I wake to a dark room. What time is it? I look at the digital alarm clock on the nightstand and see it is almost seven am. It will be light out soon enough.

I sit up in bed, propping up on my elbows to look around. Jack is still fast asleep in the portable crib. I smile at his sweet, sleeping face. I love my baby boy with all of my heart. Then I sit up fully to see his father asleep on the floor. The silly man insisted on sleeping there last night. He could have had the sofa in the family room or the pull out in the basement, but he wanted to be with us. So, on the floor, he is.

I quietly get out of bed and tiptoe across to the door. I check John is still asleep, then slip into the hall to use the bathroom. I use the toilet, then brush my teeth and hair. After checking my reflection in the mirror, I head back into my childhood bedroom.

When I step into the room, I see John is holding Jack. He's quietly singing to the baby, and I can't help but smile. I stay still watching John with Jack. He loves our son, and I know he missed him while we were apart. I probably should feel bad about that, but John brought it on himself. He shouldn't have been out with another woman.

"Hallo, Mummy," I hear, bringing me from my thoughts.

John walks towards me, and I give him a tight smile as Jack reaches for me. I take Jack and carry him to my bed to change his diaper. As I tend to him, John steps up beside me.

"Sleep all right?" he asks, but I won't look at him.

"Fine," I chirp, keeping myself busy. "You?"

"As well I could on a floor," John answers with a little laugh, but I don't even crack a smile. "Baby, please-"

"Don't call me that," I snap. "You don't get to call me endearments," I add, my voice tight with my impending tears.

"Allison, I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I never-"

"Never what? Thought I would find out?" I snap, my voice raising in volume.

"Honestly, I didn't think you would. How did you find out anyway?" John asks, his face scrunched in curiosity.

"Paparazzi swarmed Jack and me in Hyde Park."

"What?" John barks, clearly shocked. "Were you hurt? How did you get away? What the hell! They just can't leave us alone!"

John is clearly agitated by my revelation. I get the press has hounded us since day one, but Jack and I were fine that day. Well, not fine, but unharmed. It had been their chatter that had started the spiral to where we are now—broken and unsure of one another. I look warily at John, and he begrudgingly motions for me to continue.

"Anyway, they started asking me questions about you and Amanda. And I defended you. Do you know how dumb I must have sounded? Poor helpless Allison has no idea her husband is a philandering fuck!" I shout, feeling my cheeks heat in anger.

John's face also reddens, but I think his is from embarrassment. I turn away from him, fighting the tears that are making my eyes and throat burn. I can barely see Jack as I finish changing him, but I can tell his face is calm. My shouting hasn't upset him. I need to keep quiet or not only wake my family but also clue them into our situation.

"I'm sorry you found out that way. I'm sorry you found out anything," John tells me, and I see red.

"You-" I start to yell, but John stops me.

"Wait. I mean, I'm sorry there was anything for you to find out about. I shouldn't have been out with Amanda. I'm dreadfully sorry."

His words stop me. I stand still and look at him. He's sincere. I think he even regrets being out with her. Perhaps I should ease up a little. Or should I? He practically cheated!