Revealing Kane

54 - Baby Steps

John

The amount of relief that I feel is enormous. I thought Allison was going to hate me forever. I mean, I understand her anger, but I hate being apart from her. I really do love her and need her. I feel such sorrow and shame for almost destroying that.

Then why did I do it? Why did I seek out Amanda? It's like I told Ally: it was more habit than anything else. I see a woman who interests me, and I chase her. Only now, I need not to do that. I'm married. I know if I ever do it again, Allison will be gone forever—no other chances.

As I stand at her parents' stove, minding the pancakes, Ally sits at the table behind me, helping Jack with his applesauce. She likes him to get some sort of fruit at every meal. More proof she's a great Mum. I couldn't ask for a better one for my children. Her love for them is fierce, and she will fight anyone to protect them, including me.

"Good morning," I hear and turn to see Mrs. Kane enter the kitchen.

She stops by the high chair and strokes a hand over Jack's blonde hair. She smiles at Allison, and then her eyes turn to me. The anger I see there makes me turn away in shame. The Kane's truly are upset with me. I understand why, but it doesn't make their emotions easier to handle.

"John's making us pancakes. Do you want some, Mom?" Allison asks, her eyes meeting mine in sympathy.

She knows how uncomfortable I now feel around her family. All because of that horrid fight yesterday. She feels bad that she told them what is happening between us because now they are very icy with me.

"Will they be served with a side of lies?" Mrs. Kane snaps, and I feel my cheeks heat.

"Mom, please don't. I understand you wanting to protect me and all, but this is my problem to deal with-"

"Not if you're going to live under this roof," Mr. Kane says as he enters the kitchen.

Now I feel like there's a target on my back. I'm fairly sure that if Mr. Kane had a gun, he would shoot me dead. Hell, he wanted to do that when Ally and I married almost two years ago. Now, I've gone and made a right mess of things. I've proved to him that his reservations that day were warranted. Such an idiot.

"Dad. There's no reason for more of your bluster. John is leaving today, and I'm going to start looking for an apartment," Allison announces, and I want to cry.

She's going to go through with sending me home. Without her and Jack.

"Nonsense," comes a third voice, and it's Allison's Grammy. "You and Jack can live with me. All I ask in return is helping me with the chores."

"Grammy, thank you, but I don't want to impose," Ally feebly argues.

"It's not an imposition. I'll enjoy the company," Grammy says very directly and then turns to me. "Now, Nigel. I'll have some of those pancakes if you put chocolate chips in them."

Grammy gives me a devilish grin, so I wink at her and nod.

"Mom. You know you're not supposed to have sweets," Mrs. Kane scolds.

"Stuff it, Gladys. This one meal won't hurt me," Grammy scolds, and I hear Ally giggle.

"I don't want you helping Allison, Doris. She made this bed, and now she can lie in it," Mr. Kane fusses. "I told you not to marry him, Allison. I have no sympathy for your plight."

Grammy turns to him, and I have to bite my lip so as not to laugh out loud. The look she gives Mr. Kane is pure dislike. Honestly, it's the same way he looks at me.

"You know, Richard. I remember telling my daughter not to marry you. Yet here we are forty years later. Give both Allison and Nigel a break. They're still new at this, and I think this was a life-changing lesson for them both. I think you can give them the same latitude that has been given you all these years," Grammy says.