Revealing Kane

9 - Surprises Await

Well, that certainly didn't go as I had planned. John very obviously has moved on without me. He doesn't miss me or need me the way I do him. I guess it's time I get over him and get on with my life. At least I succeeded in telling him about the baby.

I'm so glad I have my work. It keeps me busy and, therefore, my mind off of John. That's what I need. To not think about him anymore. That's the only way I will keep my sanity as I move on.

I do sometimes think about going home. Ditch all this glamour for my blue-collar hometown and family. But I enjoy modeling. My career will get me through this rough patch. And maybe - just maybe - it will make John see what he lost in me.

I go to the doctor to discuss my pregnancy. She says I'm healthy and, therefore, I should have a normal pregnancy. My due date is May 19th. I'll be a new mom in the new decade. I'm actually kind of excited about it, even if I'll only be nineteen.

I'm alone in London, and sometimes it gets me down. I have no one to talk to. I know I could go to Yasmin, but how can I talk to one of John's closest friends? No, I'll just have to settle for letters home.

I've decided to keep John's paternity to myself. There's no reason anyone has to know. Besides, Yasmin said there could be a scandal if his being the father got out. That wouldn't be good for either of us.

Yes, I still miss John. I love him, and probably always will, simply because of the baby. I can't love his baby and not him. That wouldn't be good for the child. Yet, I'm so confused. I feel wrong and twisted up. Didn't Yasmin tell me that John misses me too? I'm confused. Does he or doesn't he? He can't if he is seeking out other female companionship.

My October British Vogue cover has been released. I'm actually proud of my work there. I'm glad I was kind to John in the interview. I hope he reads it and regrets. The success of the feature only serves to make me busier. That's good, as I'm unsure how my pregnancy will affect everything. I need to save as much money as I can now.

A few weeks have passed since I told John I'm pregnant, and I've heard nothing from him. Then again, neither he nor the LeBons know how to reach me. It's another reason I haven't reached out to Yasmin. If I can continue to keep the paparazzi off the story of my baby's daddy, then I can keep myself out of the fire.

I have a big shoot today, according to Diane. Another feature to showcase another model and me. A male model. Good. Maybe I'll move on with someone else like John has. He's obviously forgotten all about me.

I walk into the photographer's studio, ready to be made up and pose for the camera. I'm so used to this sort of thing now. Diane has said that most photographers tell her how professional and natural I am. I have made a name for myself in the industry. Good. I'll need that to support my little one.

I set down my bag and head for the makeup area. I see a tall, lanky man over by the wardrobe area discussing items with someone. I can't see his face, but his body language is intense. I hope he's not a diva who will take over the shoot. I can't stand self-important people.

With my hair and makeup done, I head to wardrobe. I'm helped into a gorgeous couture gown that the dresser makes fit me like a glove. I'm told the other model will join me shortly after his interview is over, so I head to the photographer. He takes a few single shots of me.

I'm mid-pose when I feel hands slide down my bare arms and lips nuzzle at my neck. I remember John touching me like this, and for a brief moment, I give in to the sensations and close my eyes, imagining it is John. But when I hear the whir of the camera shutter, I remember where I am and snap out of my lust.

"Hi. I'm Alli-" I start to say, but my words die in my throat as I turn and take in the male model.

It's John.

God, he looks devastatingly handsome in that tux. His long hair is slicked back into a ponytail, and his face - his exquisite face - is perfectly made up. I'm going to die on the spot. Or combust with lust.

"Hi, Ally," John says, a mischievous smile pulling at his perfectly plump lips. "Let's show the world how good we are together."

"But-" I start to protest, but John's fingers glide over my mouth to stop me.

"Shhh. We'll talk later," he says and then plants a curt peck on my lips.

I know I look stiff as I turn back to the camera. I'm in shock. John is here. He's holding me like he used to. My body screams for him, but we broke up over a month ago. I can't do this. I pull away from him and run off camera.

"Give us a minute," I hear John say, and then he's chasing after me.

I don't want to see him. I don't want to talk to him. I just want to live my life without him as planned. But then a realization hits me, and I turn to square off with him.

"Did you plan this?" I bark at John, and he smiles as he approaches me.

"I had to. You've hidden away, and I couldn't find you to talk to you. I miss you so much, Ally. I acted like an idiot, and I'm sorry. Please let me love you again," John says, but I'm still angry.

"You don't miss me. You have that blonde I saw you with. She's more your type anyway," I snap, but he's shaking his head.

"No, Ally. I'm not with her. I thought I had lost you for good. She was simply a mistake. But I know I can win you back. Especially with the baby growing inside you," he coos as his hand slides onto my lower belly.

Lust shoots through me at his touch. I've missed him so much. I know I cut him off, but I believed he didn't want me. He still doesn't. He just thinks he does.

"We have a shoot to do. I can be professional if you can," I bite out, but John doesn't move.

"Only if you'll let me take you out after. We have so much to talk about. Please, Ally. I need you. I can't stand being away from you anymore. Please let me love you. Let me show you just how much you mean to me," John sincerely tells me.

Oh, God. That's what he said to me the night I royally screwed up. He wants another chance. Should I let him in? I know how much I've missed him. Maybe I can let him make an effort. There's a chance he'll still break my heart, but perhaps I need to try.

"Maybe," I say as a small smile crosses my lips.

"Maybe is good enough for me. Come on. Let's have some fun," John says, takes my hand, and pulls me back into the studio.

John immediately takes over the shoot but in a good way. He demands that upbeat music be put on, and soon, we are dancing, laughing, and having a great time together, all while being photographed.

John spins me, making me laugh, then pulls me close, settling into a slow dance posture. He begins to sway us as he looks deep into my eyes.

"I love you, Allison. Please forgive me for what I said to you. Please forgive me for breaking us up. I've missed you so much, and I need you in my life. Please allow me to love you as we grow into a family," John says so sincerely that I tear up.

That is all I've wanted to hear from him for weeks. I'm actually glad he set this up for us. We both needed this reconnection.

"I love you too, John. I really do. I wish I had just said that that night instead of freezing like an idiot. I've been missing you like crazy, but I didn't think you wanted to be with me anymore, so I stayed away. I'm sorry," I tell him, and he gently kisses the end of my nose.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. It was all my fault for overreacting. I'm so glad you are right back here in my arms again, where you belong," he says, and I hug him tighter to me.

I've missed him and everything about him for far too long. I'm so grateful for this second chance for us. I hope we can move happily into the future together now that we're reconciled.