Revealing Kane

49 - Turmoil

The Sunday after Thanksgiving, I am curled up on my parents' sofa, trying to read a book. Jack is down for a nap in his crib in my room. I have my Walkman headphones on, listening to an album I haven't heard in years but was once a favorite: The Swing by INXS. As the familiar songs play, I try to read, but that is made difficult by my father and brothers yelling at the Philadephia Eagles football team. Shouts of "You're a bum!" or "You suck!" startle me every time I start to get into the page. I finally give up, close the book, and turn up my music.

It's a dreary afternoon as it is raining and bitter outside. I'm glad I'm in here, cozy by the fireplace. I can't imagine anyone wanting to be out in this mess.

I'm starting to nod off when the doorbell rings. Or at least I think it did. My father pauses, listening for the sound. The bell goes again, and I scoff as I shove to my feet. No one else moves.

"I've got it," I sarcastically say as I head to the front door.

The shouting resumes as I reach for the doorknob. I turn it and swing open the door. And gasp very loudly.

"John?!" I exclaim as I take in his absolutely soaking wet form.

"Allison. Thank God I finally found you. Do you know how many doorbells I rang on this street?" John asks as I stare at him in disbelief.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, still flabbergasted.

"I needed to see you. I miss you so much," he tells me as Mom steps up beside me to see who it is.

"Oh my gosh! John!" Mom says as she grabs his hand. "Come in here before you catch your death of cold!" she adds, hauling him inside. "I can't believe you left your husband soaking on the stoop, Allison. What's gotten into you?"

"I just-" I flounder.

"Let me get you a towel, John," Mom says and hurries for the stairs as she glares at me.

"Thank you, Mrs. Kane," John says as he watches her disappear.

Then his eyes drop to mine, and he says," I'm so glad to see you, Allison. I miss you so very much."

"I'm not ready to see you," I harshly whisper at him, and his face drops. "And what do you mean you rang a lot of doorbells?"

"You never gave me this address. Diane only has the street name. I had to find you, so I rang every doorbell until I did," John explains, and I'm stunned anew.

"You must be John," Grammy says as she enters the foyer. "I'm Allison's grandmother, Doris," she says, reaching for his hand.

"Oh no you don't!" I shout, grabbing her hand to stop her.

Grammy gives me a sly smirk as John looks at me, confused. I promise her she can talk to John later and send her back to the kitchen where she and Mom had been talking before the interruption.

"We can't-"

"Here, John," Mom says, handing him a towel. "My word, Allison. I can't believe you haven't taken his coat. I raised you better than that," Mom scolds as she pulls his drenched coat from him. "Come with me, John. Let's get you warmed up," she then says, pulling him towards the kitchen.

I let out a heavy sigh and follow in their wake. Mom soon has John seated at the kitchen table while she makes him some tea and soup. Gram's eyes are all over him, and I know she's trying to read him. As for me, I'm an emotional mess at seeing him.

"How has your work been, John? Allison told us you didn't come because you were working," Mom says nonchalantly as John looks at me.

His eyes reveal his sadness, but I also see gratefulness that I didn't talk trash about him to my family. As far as I'm concerned, our relationship is no one else's business.