A Dance Of Crowns & Thrones | Book I

Chapter 83 | October 3rd | "Grief Is Just Love, With No Place To Go."

Timeline - October 3rd | ( Next Day)

At that moment, Richie let out a groan as he read through his report for the third time. His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Mya and the events that had led up to this moment, making it impossible for him to concentrate. He found himself reading the same line repeatedly, and it was clear that his thoughts were hindering his progress.

Despite this, he hoped that leaving his room and immersing himself in the bustling cafeteria would help him. Perhaps the noise and activity would be enough to drown out the memories of Mya's voice and the actions that had led to their tumultuous relationship. As he read through the fourth paragraph of the report yet again, he was unaware of the person who had joined him.

The unexpected weight on the chair and the sound of someone sitting down in front of him gave away the identity of Richie's visitor.

"Hi mommy," Mackenzie greeted Mya with a cheerful smile as she continued to draw by his side.

The recent battle had left Mya drained, and she had only just woken up an hour ago. Richie had agreed to take care of Mackenzie while she recovered from the crystal's effects on her body.

Peering up from his tablet, Richie was met with the bright hazel eyes of his ex. The same that had almost disappeared on him again, yet she was alive, and right here in front of him. The truth hit him hard, leaving him feeling completely shattered.

This wasn't what it was meant to be like, what he felt while looking at her, they weren't ever meant to feel so hopeless even with the power of the crystals.

Richie felt a pair of soft hands cover his eyes, and he could feel his concentration slipping away. "Daddy, daddy!" Mackenzie's laughter filled the room. "Earth to daddy," she exclaimed, having climbed behind his chair. Her loving embrace was all he needed to push the darkness away and focus on the present.

He rolled Mackenzie into his arms and smiled at his bouncing, beautiful, and very much alive daughter as they waited for their drinks to arrive in comfortable silence. "I told mommy I'm going to wear the sparkly sequin dress you got me," Mackenzie said, breaking the silence.

"And your shoes." Richie smiled, grateful for the distraction. It was easier to talk about his daughter's outfit for the graduation ceremony than to look up at Mya. He had to fight the urge to grab her and never let her go, just to keep her safe.

"The pink ones, daddy," Mac's cheeky smile then giggled again, and it radiated between her parents as though that was an obvious answer.

Luckily at that moment, the cafeteria staff arrived, and a very nervous and hesitant woman stood between the three of them. Knowing their backgrounds, she quickly placed the content of drinks before them, and hurriedly vanished before world war three erupted.

"Matthew said we would be training tomorrow after the Graduation has been dealt with." As she spoke, she took a sip of her coffee and briefly glanced at Richie, sensing the tension between them. The effort of maintaining a civilized conversation felt unusual and intense, unlike anything they had experienced in years.

"Hmm." Richie agreed having spoken about that with Matthew as well when they took off after he had given Mya the crystal yesterday. This was apparently his shit fight to clean up. "I'll urm, take you through the basics, with Jasmine of course. If that's okay, considering everything."

"I'm sure, we ah, can work something out," Mya agreed softly, "Civilized and all, considering the circumstances." She then tapped the rim of her coffee cup, the silence remained between them as the chatter of their daughter continued.

"Can I ask, will you continue to be mad at me for the rest of our existence?" Richie asked tentatively, looking at Mya with a mix of apprehension and hope in his eyes.

"Will you continue to do dumb shit to antagonize me?" Mya asked, with a hint of a smile.

"Look, I know you're upset with me also about Jacob, and just everything that we don't like to talk about, but-"

"Richie," Mya whispered tapping her coffee cup. "I don't want to talk about what happened with Jacob, he's dead. It was three years ago. Oddly enough, there are other reasons why I'm upset with you, but, I want-"

Mackenzie interjected, "Don't worry, Daddy. Mommy is also upset with me."

Mackenzie leaned into her father's chest and crossed her arms.

"And what did you do to upset her?" Richie smirked looking at Mya that rolled her eyes smiling.

"She said I'm her broke best friend," shaking her head. "And then Mommy said she can't find the right shoes to wear, and that's my fault. My fault, Daddy?"

Mackenzie giggled as does Mya, and sitting there Richie couldn't help but think about something Teddy had mentioned to him years ago, when he was forced into counselling because of everything that happened with Mya.

'Grief is really just love, it's all the love you want to give but cannot.'

He glanced over at Mya and Mackenzie, his heart swelling with love for his family, even if he couldn't fully show it. Maybe one day, he would find a way to release all that pent-up love and heal from his grief. But for now, he sat in silence, taking solace in the presence of his loved ones.

'All of that unspent love festers up in the corners of your eyes,' Teddy finished, 'the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love, with no place to go.'