Getting on my Pants

GOMP 17 - Talk

Chapter 17

>>>Aidan's POV

"Winter, do you want to me to sing you a lullaby? "tanong ko kay Winter. Hindi pa kasi sya tulog. Nakatingin lang sya sa kisame habang si Summer, kanina pa tulog sa kabila ko habang nakayakap sa kin.

Nandito na kami sa kwarto nila. Hinatid kami ni Paige dito bago sya dumiretso sa kwarto nya. Halos hindi sya nagsalita. She just kiss the kids good night before heading to her room. You can tell she's upset just by looking at her eyes. I wanna hold her and tell her it will be alright. I want to cuss myself because of that. First, I supposed to hate her right? Second, she's too cold and the last and most painful truth, she's not mine.

Hindi sinagot ni Winter ung sagot ko. Instead, he asked," Dad, can I ask you about something?"tanong nya sa kin habang nakatingin ng diretso sa mata ko.

"About what?"nagtatakang tanong ko. I know my kids are extraordinary. Winter can passed as a 10-year old kid Or beyond. He's mature enough for his age. I guess, being the only boy in the family made him that way.

"You, Mom, and us," he said frankly.

I was taken aback with his serious tone.

"What is it?"

"Can we talk in the verandah? Baka po magising si Summer,"

"Sure,"

Naunang bumaba sa kama si Winter. Maingat ko namang inalis ung braso ni Summer at dahan-dahang bumaba nang kama.

"Daddy..."sabi ni Summer. Akala ko nagising sya pero nagsalita lang pala sya nang tulog. Her soft voice calling my name while sleeping warmed my heart. I touched her hair but then, I stopped. Winter was waiting for me.

I got on my feet and went to Winter.

"Are we going to talk man-to-man?"bungad ko kay Winter.

"Yes, Dad. But, technically, it's a boy-to-man talk," he corrected me.

I chuckled for a while. "So, what is it?"

"Dad, why did you leave Mom?"

Huminga muna ako nang malalim bago sumagot. "I guess, you have a vague idea about me and your mom. Winter, I didn't leave your Mom. She's the one who broke up with me. But, if I had known she had you and Summer that time, I won't let her,"

"Then, why did you let her go? Or you didn't love her enough to let her go?"

Hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang sagutin yun o ano. Paige and I didn't have a normal relationship.

"I love your Mom, then and now. I guess, destiny prevails us from being together. Winter, when you love someone, you'll know when to give up and let her go. That's what I did. I love her but she didn't love me," mapait kong sabi. That scene on the beach flashed in my mind.

Nagulat pa ko nang hawakan ni Winter ung kamay ko. Nagtatakang tumingin ako sa kanya.
"Dad, to tell you honestly, I don't want a daddy if it means hurting my Mom. I love them so much, Summer and Mom. I don't care if I don't have a dad as long as Mom and Summer are happy. But when you entered the picture, I was too glad I've met you. I love you instantly. Tito River is too kind and he loves us very much. I'm grateful we have him when you're not around. Earlier, I realized the difference on how Mom looks at you and Tito River. My mom looks at Tito River with fondness while she looks at you with love and longingness," mahabang sabi nya sa kin.

"Winter, I really don't know what to say. I'm glad I have you and Summer but your mom is a different story. She loves River, not me. I know for a fact that she couldn't love me,"

"Dad, I really don't know the whole story between you and Mom. But Dad, you love Mom and I'm sure she also loves you. I know it's inaapropriate given the fact that Mom has Tito River. I love Tito River, yes. But, Mom's not for him,"

Napabuntong hininga na naman ako. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba kong maniwala sa sinasabi ng anak ko o hindi.

"We can't decide on that. It's their life, their relationship. I won't just barged in and get you Mom even if I want to,"

"But, we can do something about it," he suggested.

"What do you mean?"

>>>Paige's POV

Kanina pa ko nagpapabaling-baling dito sa kama ko. Different thoughts were entering my mind. Guilty of what I've done to River and how I make amends with him and feeling guiltier because I'm thinking Aidan more than I'm thinking River. I already said I should move on. Pero kahit isang hakbang ng paa, wala pa akong nararating. Nandito pa rin ako sa starting line.

"Arghhh," naiinis na sabi ko sa sarili.
Just by thinking of him sleeping on the other room with my kids make my whole self go haywire. Being tensed is an understatement. I'm agitated with that idea.

"Paige, stop thinking of him. Kailangan mo pang bumawi kay River, sa boyfriend mo," pagkausap ko sa sarili ko. I'm getting used on talking to myself whenever I'm nervous.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table. It's already 1am. Dalawang oras na pala ako halos magpaikot-ikot sa kama. Dapat sa mga oras na 'to, tulog na ko dahil kailangang maaga akong magising bukas dahil magsisimba kami. Last day na rin ng 1 week vacation ko. Trabaho na ulit hanggang bago magpasko.

I sighed in defeat. My attempts of getting a sleep were all futile. I get on my feet and carefully, I opened my children's room.
I walked like a cat and sneaked into their room.
Aidan's on the middle of the bed with Summer and Winter hugging him from both sides. They were a perfect sight and I couldn't help but stare at them.

Kahit tulog, halatang masaya ang mga bata. They have this peaceful expression. Summer even have s slight smile on her face.

My gaze went to Aidan, the man who holds my heart, then and now. I love River but he can't make my heart flutters just by looking at him. Only Aidan can do that.

Move on. It is just 2 words but too hard to do. Sabi ko kaya ko pero bakit ganun? Makita ko lang sya, bumabalik lang ako sa dati. Nandun pa rin un sakit. Pero hindi ko maikakailang, nandun rin ung labis na pagmamahal.
Bakit ba kailangang sya pa ung mahalin ko? Pwede bang idivert na lang 'to lahat kay River? Mas madali ata pag nangyari un eh. At least si River, mahal ako. Sya, kahit kelan, hindi nya ko mamahalin. It would still be Erris, just like what he'd said before.

I touched my face, suprised that it's already wet. Hindi ko napansing napaiyak na pala ako.
Brushing off my tears hastily, I carefully went back to my room, continue my miserable state. Hanggang kelan ba mauubos 'tong luha na 'to?

>>>tnx for reading... ^_____^
---till next time... ^_____^