Hate the Feeling; Mattheo Riddle

Chapter 17: IT'S YOUR FAULT

I wake up with a start. A horrible headache. A hangover, fantastic. Surprisingly I remember all of yesterday night's events. God, I wish I'd forgotten so I didn't have to deal with the second hand embarrassment. 

I somehow made it to bed.   

Hermione walks up to my bed with a look of disappointment on her face.  

"Well, I just told Harry you know." She said with a tone of disappointment. 

"Told him what."  

Do you really not remember last night? 

"Uh, I went to sleep, and uh, yea." 

"God." 

Oh shit, maybe I didn't remember everything. 

"You were gone since 11 pm at night and you didn't arrive until 1! You're lucky I was doing extra credit when I saw you stumbling in, otherwise god knows you would've hit your head on the bed frame!" 

"What on earth are you talking about." 

I have no recollection of me going to bed.... shit shit shit shit. 

"You know exactly what. Alcohol, seriously?" 

"Yes, alcohol, it's what normal teenagers do Hermione, they aren't cookie cutters and they experiment. It was a one time thing, believe me, I'm never doing that again. Let me guess, Harry has prepared some lecture for me?" 

"He was originally but...." 

"But what...." 

"You should go down and see for yourself." 

I reluctantly pushed my hair back to make it look decent and headed downstairs to be greeted by Harry. We stare at each other uncomfortably for a minute. 

"Well..." 

"I'm not surprised at this point. You and your stupid decisions." 

"IT WAS A ONE TIME THING! And can you blame me? Look at how everyone's been treating me!" 

"Which is also YOUR fault! You're making friends with the wrong people." 

"I realize that, but to be honest, last night, Mattheo was the one that brought me to my dorm, all comforted and shit, so I dunno, maybe you shouldn't judge by a name! He's a middle class jerk, AT THE MOST!" 

"You really are blind." 

"I do not want to do this right now, just go to your classes, I will not be coming today. We can talk about this again in a quarter to never."   

He doesn't say anything and simply walks out. 

I don't even know why I try. Shit I did is messed up but I'd think he would be understanding, considering the circumstances. It might be a bit much to ask considering I haven't really been considering his anger.... It seems no matter what I do, someone's gonna end up hurt. Reluctantly I go to the showers and just try to erase the evidence of yesterday. 

I seem to clean up well enough and I might be able to slog through my classes. I manage to sneak into herbology just in time. I missed my first class but I'll deal with that later. 

I was feeling so embarrassed throughout the day. I kept seeing Mattheo and he was either giving a smirk or a look of pity, I don't know what's worse. Eventually I can't avoid him when I'm right next to him walking to our class. 

"Thanks for yesterday."

"Oh no, I should be the one thanking you, you provided me free comedy relief yesterday." 

"I'm being serious." 

"Ok... ok." 

"Although your supposed helpful speech wasn't the best, you tried, and you knew cliche words weren't helpful. For that, I thank you. It gave me a reality check." 

"Glad I could be of use. Now am I going to be discarded again until I'm deemed usable again?" He sounded annoyed. To be fair, he's not wrong. 

"You're right, I'm an asshole for that, I'm sorry." 

"Can't really blame you. But at least you have SOME common sense." 

"It's my fault." The reality hit me again. It is my fault that all this mess happened, from the beginning of the year to the end. 

"You're right." He didn't sugar coat it, I didn't expect him to, in fact, I appreciated that he didn't it was very much needed. 

"It really is." The reality hit me hard, like a rock. I knew it. I knew it from the start but it's like it was fully registering now. I have no idea why NOW! I was having a stupid anxiety attack. It felt like the one book in my hand was the weight of the world all of a sudden and I fell to the side of the wall, which was supporting me so I didn't fall onto my knees. 

"Hey, hey! LISTEN TO ME!" Mattheo said, sounding angry. As if he was taking the wrong I inflicted on him out on me. 

"IT'S YOUR FAULT! HEAR THAT, IT IS YOUR FAULT! It's your fucking fault I'm in this situation, that your brother hates you, that you are being a dumbass and making horrible decisions, and it's your fault that you can't do ANYTHING RIGHT!" 

I wasn't expecting that, truly, most people would try to be softer during this situation, but honestly I agreed with this. He was letting me know he was willing to tell me what I did wrong, and he wasn't afraid too." 

It was gone. The book was simply just a book. I felt stupid, insanely stupid and cringy. I don't know what's up with me. But something changed in that moment. I don't know if it was the words spoken between me and Mattheo that day, but I knew that it felt good to hear the bitter truth from someone. It was much needed. It was as if I had someone to be brutal and honest with to help me get through my stupid decisions, which I will definitely make more off.   

Ok, short chapter, yea. I am having major writer's block rn which is why the most recent chapters aren't as good as the previous ones. But I hope you guys liked this chapter, it wasn't really my best but I think it was short and sweet so it makes sense. Please vote, it helps a lot. 

Word Count: 1000