beyond the grid - max verstappen

chapter three

I look out of the small window, assuring myself that turbulence did not mean that the flight was likely to crash. my childhood obsession with seconds before disaster really was not helping me right now. I tried to push these thoughts to the back of my mind, counting the number of flights that I had been on previously. my leg was bouncing and I made no attempt to stop it hoping that this would shake my anxiety away. not that this has ever helped before.

"acester," lando said to me – pulling me from my thoughts "you're going to make me nervous"

he looked at me, placing his hand on my knee, the slight pressure stopping it from bouncing. I need to get used to flying. of course, this was a change from the flights that I had taken before, the plan a lot smaller, chairs more comfortable, only the three of us on the flight.

"im not worried about the flight" I lied. I had begun telling myself this every race week, hoping that I would start to believe it myself.

it was a 9-hour flight from Monaco to Bahrain, which seemed like nothing compared to the long flights back home to Australia. I hadn't gone back in almost 4 years now, with no intention to return.

my family would often ask when I would come home. they never seemed to understand that it was no longer 'home' for me. that I had moved on. each year the conversations with them became shorter and more forced, hoping to avoid the subject.

both lando and daniel privy to the tension between my family, not to the fullest extent. previously daniel would suggest visiting our families whilst on break, now zero mention the topic. lando on the other hand began dragging me to family dinners – hoping it would replace what I had been missing. when I arrived at their door for the first time, cisca brought me in for a warm embrace. she'd already accepted me as her third daughter by the end of the night. she listened to lando and I passionately ramble about work, lecturing her son when he behaved badly. "you have made a mess. a mess becky now needs to clean".

lando gave my knee one last squeeze, turning back to the game he had been playing on his phone. I glanced down at mine feeling it vibrate in my hand

richard

good luck today, I'm thinking of you

I sigh, turning my music back up placing the phone in my lap. my father only reached out to me once I got my job working with McLaren. he was a big fan of F1 and wanted to know everything that was going on. As much as I tried to convince myself that he was interested in my life, I knew that he was just interested in my job.

Tensions were high in the McLaren garage over testing weekend, daniel had testing positive for covid, meaning all the pressure to obtain data was left to lando. I made sure to cancel or postpone the unimportant interviews, trying to make the weekend a little easier for the kid. I could feel the energy draining from the both of us over the weekend.

"acester" lando called me as I was walking towards the hotel pool, waving his arm for me to join him. we had agreed to spend most the day monday by the pool relaxing. I place my book and towel on the side table, laying down on the large sun bed with lando. some of the other drivers were in the pool or other sun beds surrounding.

"you don't have any media until thursday, just filming for dts this afternoon" he grunted letting me know that he heard me. "have you spoke to daniel?"

"yeah, he said he wasn't sick, just waiting for the positive result so he can leave his room"

"I dropped off a few things for him this morning, just really hoping that he's able to race this weekend" I turned over so my back would get a tan as well.