beyond the grid - max verstappen

chapter forty five

 not sure if i really like this or not let me know your thoughts

my phone beeps, and I roll to get it off the bedside table but before I could read the message max grabs it out of my hand. his eyes didn't glance at the message either, he just placed it on his bedside table face down.

"whoever it is can wait till the morning"

"what if it was something important?" I sit up, leaning my weight through my elbow

"they would have called if it was. you've spent how many days with your phone off? im sure whoever it was can wait one more night"

I laid back down on my back with a sigh. it was easier to ignore everything when the messages weren't even coming through. ignorance was bliss. I didn't know people were trying to reach me so in my mind there were no messages to respond to.

"ive got to go home for a little bit tomorrow to get a few things. I cant keep living in clothes that you've stolen from other guys. are you going to be okay on your own?"

my body jolts up "why have I never been to your flat?"

"ahh." he shrugs "I don't know. I guess because we are always here"

"what are you hiding in there? dead bodies?" my laugh was cut short with realisation "oh my god who has been looking after your cats?"

"the cat sitter is looking after them. she was meant to come next week but when I decided to stay here I got her to start early." he let outa a small laugh at the stressed look on my face "would you like to come and check my flat for dead bodies tomorrow while I pack a few things?"

"I was going to anyway" his brows knitted together "you never ask to come here. just let yourself in and end up staying"

"well in that case, why don't you pack your bag for Silverstone and we can stay at mine over the weekend. youll finally be able to meet the cats." the look of confusion was quickly replaced with a smile. one that seemed to be filled with pride.

"youre going to have to help me plan my outfits and put my room back together, so it isn't a mess when bella gets home"

"I think I can manage that ace" he lays back down on the bed.

but my body stays sat in place as my eyes roam all over the room, my mind racing with everything I had to organise leading into Silverstone and the potential media shit storm my mother was creating. there were things in my life that were getting better but there were still things I had to face in order to fix.

"talk to me ace. what's running through your mind?" he rolled on his side watching me from where his head lay on the pillow

"I don't know" I sigh, laying my head on my knees, looking back at him "I still have to properly talk to lewis and pierre. I haven't checked twitter and im scared for what I might find in my mentions. this week is just going to be so long. I know I can do it. i think I just have to spend a day organising everything again"

"we can do it together. whatever I can help with im here. you always put everyone else before yourself but until youre feeling one hundred percent you need people to rely on and to focus on yourself." he tapped my elbow lightly gesturing for me to lay down in bed next to him. my body snuggled into his side.

"I just don't even know where to start" I groaned heavily

"well I think you talk to lewis over lunch on friday. itll be good for you to start having lunch together again. then I think it would be best to just talk to pierre after the weekend. text him this week and try to organise something, don't add to your schedule for the week coming. just leave twitter until you feel that is something youre ready for"

but my mind kept running. it wouldn't shut up. my hands cover my eyes rubbing them hard. his hand pushes mine away clutching my cheek. he looks at me with wide and captivating eyes.

"what are we doing max?" I lean into his touch bringing my face slightly closer to his.

"I don't know ace" his eyes scan mine before lingering on my lips

my lips part slightly as his thumb grazes my cheek. all I could think about was how close we were, his breath tingling against my skin, his eyes focused on me. there's a spark in his gaze now something fiery but still a sense of uncertainty. he watches me for an antagonising second. he leans forward closing the gap between us.

a gasp leaves my lips as they move together with his. one of my hands makes its way around his neck, pulling him in closer. his lips were so soft and gentle against my own. so gentle Im almost convinced ive imagined it all. but the way my skin heated under his touch brought me back to reality.

our kiss was nothing im used to. tender. soft.

my leg wraps around his body, my hand makes its way to his hair and tongue traces his lips. encouraging him with soft touches. h wrapped his arm around me holding me tight to his body. a growling noise makes its way up his throat and he pulls away slightly.

this moment felt like it was somewhere we always should have been.

"its never like this with other people" I whispered

"I like you a lot more than other people. I was trying to keep it sweet but youre making it really hard" his eyes still had the same spark to them and his had remain on my cheek, his thumb grazing it gently

"then give in max"

I press my lips against him, kissing him with the same softness he met mine with before. this time his tongue was begging for permission. licking. teasing. he held me tight not letting me go. my body feels intoxicated with thoughts of him, all the things I want to explore with him. my skin warms as his hand runs down my back and onto my ass. my nails dig in slightly at the nape of his neck causing another growl to leave his mouth.

he brings my body to life with just his touch, his lips clouding my head completely. my leg pulls his body in closer crying out for more physical contact. I press my lips to his harder, showing him how much I wanted him. how much I really needed him.

he breaks away from the kiss, his eyes scanning my face, drawing attention to the uncertainty that had settled in them. "I shouldn't have done that ace. im sorry"

my heart seems to have stopped beating in my chest "why not?"

his eyes flash with what I can only imagine to be sympathy "youre not doing the best at the moment and I shouldn't... you need to be able to heal yourself"

"I know you never truly heal yourself if youre relying on another person for your happiness, but you remind me of the things that make me happy." my hands reach up finding their place on his cheeks "there is a sense of safety and happiness you bring to my life. but you also remind me to find joy in the little things. things I often overlook. you pull me out of my own head so I can heal myself. I don't need you to do it for me but I do want you to be there with me" my eyes study his face trying to find any emotion.

"I will always be there ace" his lips turn up slightly "you need stability and support and I can do that. ill be there to remind you to stand in the rain, pick flowers from someone garden, make popcorn before a movie night, ride a bike, and make sure you don't miss the sunset."

"and ill be there to do the same thing for you. I see the way you've been putting your own needs to the side to help me." I looked at him longingly and as if he could read my mind, he places a soft, tender kiss on my lips.

"you need to get some sleep ace. its been a big night and im sure the cats are going to be excited to see you tomorrow" he whispered pulling me into his side.

I nodded my head, murmuring a quiet "goodnight max" resting my head on his chest, listening as it rose as fell with the beat of his heart

"goodnight ace" he whispered back, placing a soft kiss on the top of my head.