beyond the grid - max verstappen

chapter thirteen

"honesty? you want honesty? you said you wanted to work on this, get us back to where we were before everything changed for the worst. you left. not me. now you're not even going to put in the effort, but you're the one that has called me to yell at me? the dinner was meant for drivers and their partners. PARTNERS BECKS DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? IT MEANS PEOPLE THEY ARE DATING" I held the phone away from my ear still able to hear him as he raised his voice.

I fiddled with my deck of cigarettes as I took a drag from the one between my lips. I was sat on a park bench across from the café where I had just got my morning smoothie; it wasn't breakfast but it was the only thing I thought I could stomach. knowing that I had to make this phone call I made sure to get breakfast away from the hotel, not wanting to be around anyone I knew. ben's anger started when I didn't hear my phone at dinner.

ben chilwell

You have a missed call, but the caller didn't leave a message

You have a missed call, but the caller didn't leave a message

I just thought you would've text

Ask how my training was going

You have a missed call, but the caller didn't leave a message

Becks?

Why are you at the driver's dinner?

Why do I get the feeling youre ignoring me for them?

You have a missed call, but the caller didn't leave a message

Have a good night then x

Don't bother about calling back

"that is totally unfair ben" my voice was soft trying not to argue with him. it was always hard for us when we spent days apart, not being able to see each other in person, often turned misunderstandings to full blown arguments. "seb brought britta to the dinner, so what difference does it make if lando asked me."

"seb is in a committed relationship" he spat down the line

"so we're not committed to each other?" I sighed just wanting to be back in my bed.

"we never have discussed this and here you are out to dinner with all of these drivers that I don't even know, and that don't even know I exist" I could imagine exactly what he would look like right now; his hair slightly tossled from running his hand through it one too many times, jaw clenched, his knuckled white from the tight grip on the phone.

"they know who you are" my voice was no louder than a whisper. I could hear a door open over the phone, but there was nothing but silence.

"becks I have to go. I don't want to have this argument again, I have more important things to do leading into the end of season and this is really distracting. if you actually love me how you say you do, then you wouldn't be throwing yourself at them, just think about that next time" the line went dead before I even had the chance to respond.

love me how you say you do? I haven't said that since I left him. maybe I still did love him, but I was for sure not in love with him. making me fall for him again, was something that he needed to work on and I wouldn't just give in so quickly.

I dropped my head into my hands, it wasn't my intention to make ben feel this way. I knew it wasn't fair on him, being in another country, seeing pictures and stories online about someone he was building a relationship with, out at dinner with a bunch of other guys. especially as I went as someone's date, even though I wasn't really lando's 'date' I knew how it seemed.