beyond the grid - max verstappen

chapter twenty one

i texted lando that we would meet at the paddock gates before heading to the drivers conference. I pulled at the sleeves of my over shirt covering my hands as I approached him. his eyes glanced over my body and he seemed annoyed or maybe displeased. the media had recently been dragging on about my lack of effort when choosing race weekend outfits. apparently, I still wasn't reaching lando's standards either. I had pulled on a black long sleeve and shorts linen set; I left the shirt buttons undone and had a modest scoop neck bralette on underneath, fresh converse and a slick back pony.

he reaches his arms out pulling me in for a hug, his arms wrap around my body and im filled with a sense of happiness; I was getting my best friend back and his arms reached around further than before. I place my arms around him and nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck.

"I really have missed you" I felt my eyes become watery and my voice wasnt louder than a whisper. his hands rubbed over my sides and he seemed to tense as they glided over my ribs. "lets get to that conference"

he didn't say anything as we walked through the paddock just nodding along as I talked over the weeks schedule that I had already sent through to him. he forced a smile on his face but I could tell something was bothering him, but the way that he kept close to my side let me know he wasn't annoyed with me. I stopped a few metres from the door and he turned to face me.

"tell me what's wrong, you can't go in there in a mopey mood" I could almost see the thoughts racing through his mind, considering what to say. "Norris come on. if you tell me I can probably fix it. that is what I am here for isn't it?"

"why don't you tell me what is wrong acester?" his eyes were glossy

"huh?"

"you and I both know that this wasn't all about getting in shape for the race. i have missed you more than anything but I still don't feel like you're with me. you're always here helping me but you won't let me in when you're needing help the most"

"it's okay lan, im okay" my voice once again betraying me, slightly breaking as I spoke.

he wrapped his arms around me again, this time holding my head to his chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist holding him tight. a stray tear slipped from my eye and I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold on for much longer.

"I just don't want to lose you" he mumbled into my hair.

"you're not going to" he placed a soft kiss on the top of my head. I bite down onto the side of my cheek, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall.

the press conference went slower than usual and each of the drivers were attempting to find anything better to pay attention to. I got my laptop out taking notes as the questions flowed but every time, I looked up from the screen my eyes caught his. he watched me intently throughout the whole conference with a sad smile plastered on his face. each day it just became more obvious how much I was affecting the people closest to me but I couldn't seem to help myself.

shoving my laptop back into my backpack once I had finished with my notes, maddy's makeup bag caught my eye and I made a mental note to return that by the end of the day. she had come to my room to get ready last night and had left it there. she worked in the marketing department so the only chance that I would get to see her was visiting the garage.

I dreaded going back to work today. I didn't want to see anyone and I didn't want anyone to see me. i knew that the whole paddock would have a field day after what happened last night but turns out pierre hadn't told anyone. he had made sure I was up in time for work and even ordered breakfast to the room so I had time to get myself together before going to the paddock. I picked around at the food, silently grateful that the drivers had a strict diet and I wouldn't have to eat much.