beyond the grid - max verstappen

chapter forty four

my eye flick between the screen of the video camera and max covered in paint. the whole scene in front of me warms my heart. max had been walking around my room fixing the paint tins and brushes to make sure nothing dried up overnight, letting me just take in the new paint job my room had received. I knew I had to tell bella before she got home and I was really just praying that she didn't kill me.

he flashes a smile in my direction and I completely forget any worry that I had before. I watch on as he takes one final look at the lion I spent most of the afternoon painting before turning toward me.

I don't know how he is able to do it. completely changing my mood, bringing me out of the dark each time it starts to feel like too much. he makes me want to be healthy, to be happy. he makes me happy. with him there is no endless tug of war between happiness and guilt.

I make a mental note to attempt to get back on top of work tonight, maybe making a few phone calls to bella, lando, daniel, tobi and el. although im feeling an overwhelming sense of motivation, im not sure how long it will last once I start to speak to other people.

after thirty minutes of waiting in bed, I made my way downstairs, to see what was taking max so long. after settling on ordering thai food and watching movies in the spare room, while I try to get some work done, max had ventured downstairs and was yet to return.

the downstairs lights were off, only the task lighting on the kitchen counter illuminated the space. max stands with his back towards me. I recognise the song playing off his phone as Ziggy alberts heaven. he carefully decants the take away packaging into two bowls, sharing the different foods between us.

I take a hesitant step forward not wanting to startle him "I didn't know you liked Ziggy alberts"

he jumps slightly at my words. I rest my hand on his shoulder picking up his phone to check I had got the song correct.

"you always have his music playing through the speakers and I guess I kind of like it" he places the last empty container down on the counter before handing me one of the bowls. "did you want to watch something down here or in bed?"

"In bed please" he nods leading the way back to the spare room as if this was his apartment and I were the one visiting.

he held my bowl for me as I got back into a comfy position on the bed, placing my laptop onto the floor beside. once I was comfortable, he held both bowls carefully, finding his own spot next to me. without another word he handed a bowl to me and turned on narcos.

"you do realise if im translating for you than I wont be able to eat" I moved my bowl off my lap sitting it in between the two of us

it was only there for a second before he placed it back on my lap. "good thing they have the English version"

the two of us sat in almost silence as we ate, making the occasional comment about the tv series. I felt more comfortable eating in front of max, my mind was running through the amount of calories I was consuming, just amazed by the flavours. it was the first time since he had come over that he wasn't watching how much I was eating. but still after not eating for so long, my stomach could only hold so much food before it felt like it would burst.

I placed the bowl in between the two of us again offering him a weak smile. but this time he took the bowl and put it on the bedside table with his own.

"we can just reheat it when you feel ready to eat again" he smiled back, lifting his arm up for me to cuddle into his side. as if he knew this was when the guilt of eating would start to kick in. but it didn't.