Forever and ever 2. The adventure starts now.

Forever and ever Part 3.

Our hotel room was stunning! I had left the choice of hotel to Tom in the wedding planning, knowing that he was more fussy than me about the location and look. Since the last hotel in Portugal had been such a disaster, he had probably chosen the most expensive one instead of the cheapest. So we ended up in the hotel 'Seul amour'. Only love. It had a breathtaking view of the eiffel tower. It was in a quiet area of Paris, had a swimming pool and wellness area. It even had couple's massages, and on top of that it had a rooftop! but we hadn't been on that yet.

We had just arrived at the hotel room when Tom, while unpacking his suitcase, remembered that he had forgotten his charger in Portugal... Now he insisted on buying a new one.
"You can just use mine, bub."
His head jerked up, probably because I had called him bub, which was new to him, but he shrugged it off and put the shirt he was holding folded in his hands into the closet.
"Maybe now, but I need my own for the night." He explained, but I saw no problem in him keeping his mobile phone off for the day. Not like it was difficult.
"okay." I answered, but really didn't feel like looking for a shop that sold charger now. I wanted to explore the city, or maybe... take a little nap first...

I threw myself onto the bed, let the soft pillow suck me in and drown me.
God did it feel good.
The smell of fresh sheets, the embrace of soft blankets that literally hugged you and begged you not to let go, and my eyes that could finally rest. Not to mention my feet, as if they didn't already hurt from the shoes I had to wear all evening yesterday, but all the rushing from the airport until here didn't make them feel any better.

I kicked the shoes off my heels still with my face pressed into the pillow while Tom packed away the last pair of trousers.
"Are you okay princess?" He asked, staring at my figure sprawled on the bed.
"Uhu" I mumbled into the pillow. "Just 5 minutes." I raised the five fingers of my right hand, that was the only thing I did. Just to show him how much 5 minutes is.
He let out a giggle, and if I hadn't been so tired, I would have certainly laughed with him. But for now, I stayed in the position I was in. Lying flat on my stomach with my head turned slightly to the side, for me to have enough air to survive.

Tom's pov~

I lay down next to Y/N on the mattress and ran my hand through her soft hair. Her eyelids twitched with each pass of my thumb across her forehead, her nostrils flared with each inhalation, and her hair kept falling into her face until I brushed it back again. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful in her sleep.... She really needed it. Just as much as I did actually, but no matter how hard I tried, my body wouldn't let me.

I was always exhausted, even when I didn't move. My eyes burned, my head throbbed and my body felt empty. I didn't want to fall back into the hole I'd just come out of, but even with Parker the other night it was too much. It was the night the boys had just kidnapped me from Y/N and taken us to another hotel. When they wanted to give Parker and me some rest, he wanted to play, and romp and run, but my body didn't want to. It didn't want to do anything to be honest. Before I got aggressive, Harry had picked him up. Parker didn't deserve to be yelled at and I was glad Y/N wasn't there to see how I was doing. Because it was depressing. Around her, I was actually fine, but being alone, I realised it wasn't true. I was not well. My body wasn't well.
It was all pretend. Not only for her but also for myself. I told myself I was fine because at least I had her back, but without her I was nothing. I did nothing, I wanted nothing and... I ate nothing. That was probably the reason for everything. It was destroying me. But I wasn't hungry. I was never hungry, and because I wasn't hungry, I wasn't thirsty. I forgot to eat, I forgot to drink, and if I ate something and got distracted, I forgot to eat again. I forgot at most meals to be honest. Y/N always made sure I ate...

Now I couldn't stand up without my eyes going black and my face getting flabbier every time I looked in the mirror. I didn't know if that was the reason that pulled me into the hole or if it was still my old depression, but anyway, I had written to my therapist again. Just in case. That's why I needed my phone so badly. And because I still had to text my agent. I'll take the roll!
It was an opportunity for me to do more with others again. Y/N would support it, so I was still waiting for the right time to tell her. I thought about telling her at the Eiffel Tower this week, or at dinner. Maybe even after the honeymoon in case she wouldn't be happy about it after all.