Forever and ever 2. The adventure starts now.

Part 149.

Tom's pov~

I am lost in a labyrinth of my own making, where the only way out is through the loudness.

All eyes were on her. All fucking eyes. Harrison's. Hero's. Sam's. Paddy's. Ciara's. Josephine's. Harry's. Zendaya's. And mine.
Especially mine.

Yet, she didn't utter a single word. Didn't dare to, and I didn't feel bad about putting her in this position. She deserved it, and I could barely contain myself any longer. Every time I looked at her, all I saw were his hands on her body. His face in her neck. His fingers curling in her hair. He was everywhere I looked. Even my dreams didn't leave me unhaunted; I couldn't take it anymore.

"He's insane," Paddy muttered. Maybe I was. But fuck, for her I even was insane.

"Y/N would never cheat," Harry murmured back. Sam had by now picked himself up from the ground, my shove not having hurt him too much on the soft grass. Joe and Zenday standing outside the glass doors.

"No..." Y/N shook her head, her voice barely louder than the chirping of crickets. "He's right." And by "he," she meant me. Her gaze shifted around, chewing on her cheek, tempted to say something else than what she was about to.
Paddy gasped as his eyes darted back and forth. Y/N was still not finished, tears welling up in her eyes now, being the actress she was, enough to garner at least some sympathy from one person, but I couldn't let it be me. I didn't fall for her. Not again. "I cheated on him," she confessed to our friends, some looking less surprised than others, including Ciara, who stared at the ground as if she didn't want to be involved.

"Why?"

"How?" Both of my redheaded brothers asked again, their shoulders pressed close together. Y/N trembled under all the attention, her gaze ultimately finding mine again. Mine and mine alone. She looked at me with hurt that couldn't be described, unable to quite believe the situation I had put her in, let alone why I would do such a thing to her or what the hell was wrong with me. But I couldn't even answer that for myself yet. All I knew was that I could feel my heartbeat in my throat and hear my blood flowing through my veins.

A tear escaped her eye, flowing down her precious cheek, her puffy lips, her perfect chin.

Hero stepped in, not physically because he still held onto my arm as if I might attack someone at any moment, but he spoke up when no one else did. "Okay, the situation has gotten a bit out of control, and I think Y/N would prefer not to talk about it." Ciara immediately agreed with him, having her best friends back any time, but Y/N intervened.

"Thank you, Hero. But, before..." she breathed a shaky breath. "before you all see me as a bad person, I would like to say that... what I did was never my intention. It was a mistake." She nodded, the fact being self-evident. "A pretty big one, even. And I know that. But what happened was never anything serious and meant absolutely nothing. I found myself caught in moments I never should have been in, and I see how wrong it was. I just hope you all trust me, and know I would never do such thing again, because- I love Tom." She eyed me. "So much." All ears were tuned to her, especially Paddy's, who couldn't stop staring at me. Everyone fell for her lies and pity, everyone looking as if they had just seen a puppy die. "So, Tom, I'm sorry." This sentence was directed at me. "I'm so incredibly sorry; I never wanted it to happen." And I heard it for the thousandth time. Over and over again the same fucking apology. I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT A FUCKING APOLOGY. All I really ever wanted to hear was "I love you."
Three words.
Three words that should belong to me. That she should tell me. Three pieces that would break my heart. And instead, she kept sprinkling salt onto my wounds.

I wrestled free from the grasp of my two friends, catching them off guard, and strode past Y/N into the house when I'd had enough of her lies. That wasn't Y/N, that wasn't me, and it certainly wasn't us. Perhaps it was just a twisted notion I grappled with, but why did the voices in my head insist so clearly that she was lying?
Sam trailed after me the moment my shoe touched the wooden floor, his steps echoing softly behind mine.
"Tom, wait," he said, placing a hand on my shoulder, unafraid I might shove him down again.

I turned around, Y/N's gaze still following me in the background with concern, as if I were up to no good. With worry that I wasn't okay, and hope that everything would soon be back to normal.

My teeth ached from all the grinding, and my arms bore pinch marks from my fingers trying to keep myself calm. My expression spoke volumes without needing to ask what Sam wanted from me, and he dove right in.

"Why didn't you tell me that Y/N cheated on you?" he pressed. One of a few commonalities we shared.

I shrugged. Who really knew, anyway?

"You could've talked to me," he insisted. Was it an offer? I didn't take it as one, because why the hell would I want to talk about it? What did he think was the reason I had been avoiding the topic?

"It's fine, Sam," I shook his hand off my shoulder, his freckles suddenly looking menacing.

"Oh, come on. That's just not right. How can you still live with her?" he asked, dead serious. As if he hadn't had an on-off relationship with a cheater who also happened to exploit him for three years. Now he was telling me what to do? I wanted to laugh until I peed myself, but I settled for a smirk at his pathetic attempt to ruin my marriage.

"I'll manage," I assured him, ending the conversation that never should have started.

"But just so you know, you're welcome at my place anytime, man," he added. It was mutual, as he knew. After all, I still didn't even know where Sam was living now that he had moved out with Lily, or was it Lea who moved out? We never really talked about it, and I wasn't really in the mood for it right now.

"Of course," I nodded, as if I warmly accepted the offer. "Thanks." My tight-lipped smile seemed to convince him, and he smiled in return, while my gaze was already back on Y/N and all our friends bombarding her with questions. She still looked stunning. Another reason to steer clear of her. Her blood was poison. Infecting everyone.

I didn't want to get close to her anymore, I didn't want to get close to any of our friends tonight. Everyone bombarding us with questions that were hardly going to help.

But if tonight taught me anything, it's that I couldn't continue like this without having myself under control. I didn't know where Y/N's and my relationship was leading if things kept going this way forever, and I knew even less how to regain control of myself. I loved her, but was it worth living with the risk of hurting until the day came when I lost my temper and messed things up? Or would it be better to take some distance until I figured out how to proceed?
Maybe Sam's offer to stay with him didn't sound so bad after all; since it was what helped him too. But for tonight, I found myself in our guest room instead of in the marital bed with Y/N. I believed it was best for both of us.