Forever and ever 2. The adventure starts now.

Part 23.

It was six days later when Harry came to visit that I really left the house for the first time again, apart from short walks with Parker which were no longer than 10 minutes.
Because truth was- I didn't trust Tom alone at home anymore.
Like a babysitter I stayed by his side even though it might not have been what he wanted. I still preferred that to him sinking into self-pity until he started to drink.

Ciara was with me on one of the playground benches while Parker climbed on the climbing frame.
"He's actually really good." she complimented my son and I could only agree with her. He was a pretty good climber for his age, but his birthday was next week and apart from the presents I hadn't planned anything yet.
"Yeah, my little monkey." I giggled. But my giggles also came out rather depressed lately. Tom really managed to rob me of my last bit of energy with his behaviour. Even Ciara noticed.
"Oh darling." She sighed. "I wish I could help you guys."
I shrugged my shoulders like it wasn't a big deal even though it in fact was. It was more than just big, inside I was despairing. Christmas was almost here and after Christmas came New Year's Eve and after New Year's Eve came January and January meant I would have to leave for the shoot. The shoot I still hadn't told Tom about, but how could I if the right time didn't come? Either he was in a bad mood and we argued, or he didn't even have the strength to get up. On those days he usually stayed in bed all day. Drank his water with the antidepressants stirred in every now and then, ate and then- well, that was it. He didn't really sleep any more. At least I never found him doing so. And eating only worked if it was something simple like mashed potatoes or soft boiled vegetables. As long as it was easy to chew and swallow....

"We'll figure it out... You know, he has therapy tomorrow. So I'll try accompany him once again." She nodded, arms crossed just like mine. Both of us watching Parker in case he got hurt, which was not necessarily rare.
"Shall Harry and I watch Parker again? You can come and pick him up afterwards." Ciara's suggestion actually sounded quite good, otherwise I would have had to bring him to Nikki and Dom or take him with us if necessary.
"That'd be great!" I said. "Thanks."

~

Then on Friday, I was getting Parker dressed when Tom came into the room.
"You want to tell me what this is?" His voice was a little strained and rough, but that was nothing new for me lately. Looking over my shoulder, I saw him holding up the small bottle of antidepressants. Eyebrows drawn together with a tense jaw. I had to think of an excuse quickly, but at the same time stay calm. Especially in front of Parker, and I only hoped that Tom would stay that way too.
"We talked about it." I sighed, buttoned Parker's trousers.
"Talked about it? When?!" He scolded.
"I don't know, a fortnight ago?" I explained, half-questioning, because I didn't really know any more either. Only that Tom had flown to Paarl that night.
"So?- I was counting on you to tell me when I was on antidepressants! Now look at this bottle! Does it look unused to you?!" He stepped closer and held the small bottle right in front of my face as if I didn't know that I had already opened it. But I just rolled my eyes, sick of him.
"Tom..."
"It doesn't! Exactly!"
I took a deep breath and turned to Parker as I pulled the last sock over his foot.
"Go and watch some TV, yeah? I'll be right there and we'll make some waffles together. How does that sound?" Parker nodded, a little hesitantly, before looking up at his father, staring at him as he left the room, definitely knowing that we were not behaving normally.

Then I stood up and turned to Tom. Arms crossed over my belly.
"Can we please not make a big deal out of this?" I asked, really tired of arguing.
"We wouldn't have to if you would have told me about these drugs!" He spitted, still presenting this stupid bottle. What's more, it worked pretty well these last few days. I managed to get him to take them every morning, noon and evening without noticing, so I didn't understand why he was so aggressive right now either.
"It's not drugs, all right? It's medicine you definitely need!" His nostrils flared at my words, hands curled into fists. Even his knuckles around the bottle turned white, but it wasn't as if I was afraid. At least not any more.