Forever and ever 2. The adventure starts now.

Part 146.

Y/N's pov~

Tom showed no inclination to go out for breakfast with me, let alone spend the day together, and being left behind by my husband wasn't a pleasant feeling. But perhaps that's what he needed—some time for himself. He was out early in the morning, bag slung over his shoulder and a bottle of water in hand. I didn't dwell on it for too long, opting instead to stroll through the city with Ciara. We found a cute cafe down the street and didn't hesitate chewing on a pastry while sipping an iced tea just for the vibe of summer.

"Y/N... can I ask you something?" She asked, as if expecting a clear no. Gazing at her croissant without taking a bite.
"Of course." I replied.
"About Tom... is he still treating you well?" Ciara was entitled to any concerns she had. She was one of the few in my circle of friends who knew about my past with both my ex and Tom. She knew how he was when he drank, knew how he was when he was in a bad mood.
"He is." I nodded, not doubting my statement. But lately, things had been a bit difficult between us. Very difficult. If he was to treat me bad, he was only allowed to.
"What's been going on with him lately then?" I was what was going on with him, I wanted to say, but didn't. She still saw Tom the way he used to be, always talking, participating in every activity, joking around with his brothers. That version of Tom had long gone, and Ciara hadn't accepted it yet.
"Can I... be honest with you?" I had dreaded this moment since the second everything happened. Having to tell the world. My closest friends and family. A shiver ran down my spine, my hands starting to sweat.
"Yes?" She replied, still hesitant, even made a simple 'yes' sound like a question.
I took one last deep breath, gathered all my courage, and hoped for a somewhat OK reaction.
"Lately, I'm afraid he wants a divorce..." Ciara gasped. She never expected us to get divorced, not after everything we had been through, not Tom. Tom would never want a divorce one might think, and I always agreed, neither did I, but just lately, he has been so distant, that my mind started to doubt itself.
I continued. "I cheated on him in America..." I admitted. And she listened. "It was nothing serious..."
"With Clark?" I nodded. She must have seen the pictures too, and besides, I had already told her a lot about him.
"But please, don't tell Harry yet." I immediately began to backpedal. I would eventually tell everyone, but I wasn't even quite ready to share it with Ciara.
"Y/N..." she sighed. Not because she had to keep quiet about her boyfriend, but because I had completely messed up.
"I know." I whimpered. But part of me was surprised that Tom hadn't done it already. I wondered if he wanted to protect me, if there was a reason he didn't badmouth me to his family. But perhaps some of them knew things about me that I didn't.
"But it's getting worse..." She was all ears, swallowing the last piece in her mouth. "I think I'm pregnant..." I whispered. This day was really not going in the direction I wanted it to. My face felt pale with imperceptible blush at the same time.
"From Clark...?" She asked, almost causing me to spit out the sip of iced tea.
"No! No, for God's sake, no. I only kissed him twice." I clarified, and Ciara quickly relaxed back into her chair.
"Damn it, Y/N. You're giving me quite a scare today."

"I'm sorry..." I apologized, bringing both of us to laughter.
"But aside from the situation... would you be sad to be pregnant?" By now, I believed the entire Holland family knew how much I longed for a second child. Ciara was one of those who knew it best. She discreetly peeked under the table, checking if my belly looked rounder. Clever move, Sherlock.
"Well, I don't see anything there," she added, and I chuckled.
"I'm not that far along yet," just in the second month, if at all. But back to Ciara's actual question, I found it hard to come up with a proper answer. If Tom and I didn't reconcile soon, I doubted I would be able to have a second child with him. Not that I would abort, but in the sense that I hoped I wasn't pregnant. I seemed to be pondering for quite a while, my gaze already blurring on the wooden table.
"Don't do that," she said.
"What?"
"Overthink. You're currently considering what the smartest answer would be. But what does your heart tell you? Would you be happy to be pregnant?" My heart suddenly raced out of my chest at the possibility of carrying Tom's second child, and I could hardly imagine being happier if that were the case. So, I nodded as if my life depended on it.
"Yes. I think so." I placed my hand on my stomach, rubbing small circles, imagining that another child could really be in there. It was a beautiful feeling, even though it didn't last long because the conversation was anything but beautiful.
"What are you going to do now?" she asked. I remained silent, a single question mark hovering over my head. "Regarding Tom. How do you imagine winning him back?" She had a good point. I had done a lot for it, but I had never really thought about it. Everything I had done so far was purely out of intuition, nothing really a deliberate action. How could I regain Tom's trust? What would help him?
"I don't know," I murmured quite honestly. Ciara pouted. "What does Tom usually do when you're mad at him?" I thought back to the last time I was really angry. It was the time when he couldn't control his aggression. He sent me dozens of bouquets of flowers and notes. To some extent, it helped, as far as I knew.
"He sends me dozens of bouquets of flowers..." I blushed at the memory, even Ciara smiled when she noticed how dreamy I got just thinking about him.
"That's a grand gesture..." she was right. I could hardly return the favor, and I doubted Tom would be pleased.
"Oh! Hey," she jumped up. "I know this shop that sells these amazing chocolate bars with your own design as a cover. Why don't you give him a bar just for today that says 'I'm sorry'? It worked for me when I had this fight with Harry the other day." She smiled broadly, so broad it convinced me it was a good idea. "And maybe we'll buy a pregnancy test on the way back too. Hmm?" She reached out her hand, squeezing mine once to reassure me that she was by my side, even though I had made a mistake. But everyone made mistakes, even Tom, even her, and even Harry. Everyone. The bar was a small step, but it was one. That's what mattered to me.

On our way, my entire focus was on figuring out how to mend my relationship with Tom. Ciara was the only one I paid real attention to as we walked along the river, created the chocolate bar, bought the pregnancy test, and all that mattered. It wasn't until around 5 o'clock that I glanced at my phone for the first time again, only to find dozens of messages from Tom. My heart seemed to stop in the midst of it all.

"What's wrong?" Ciara immediately asked, noticing my anxious and absent-minded gaze.

Tom:
Could you pick up Parker from kindergarten?
02:34 pm.

Tom:
Seriously, I'm stuck in traffic and my mother's not answering her phone.
02:41 pm.

Missed voice call.

Tom woul never call me unless it's seriously important.

Tom:
Pick up your damn phone Y/N. Where the hell are you?!
02:50 pm.

Missed voice call.
Missed voice call.
Missed voice call.

"Fuck.." I murmured.
"What? what, what?!" Ciara was about to snatch the phone from my hand when I started running to the car. She followed me, and I explained the situation to her. Twenty minutes later, I stood in front of the kindergarten, the doors closed and no children in sight. By now, it was already half past five, and if I had thought for a moment longer, it would have occurred to me that Tom must have picked him up by now. But when I tried to call him again just to make sure, he didn't answer.