Forever and ever 2. The adventure starts now.

Part 172.

Tom's pov~

I lay in bed that night, my eyes swollen, my body weary. Darkness enveloped the room, with only the soft glow of the moonlight casting gentle shadows on the ceiling. The clock on the nightstand read 2 a.m., marking the passage of time as I reflected on the three beers I had consumed earlier, now churning in my stomach.

I couldn't sleep, couldn't even close my eyes. Thoughts of her consumed me, thoughts of us. Were there still chances for us? Because deep down, I prayed to get back together, hoping it wouldn't be long before we found the sparkle that kept us going all those years. It had always been that way, the one promise I never broke. But now, for the first time, I doubted myself.

The little teddy bear Y/N had given me for Christmas caught my eye as I picked it up from the nightstand. It had been my good luck charm throughout the months we were apart. Reading "just keep smiling," on it's shirt, which was an irony considering his smile now made me want to throw it away. How could it even smile? What was going on in his life that made him smile?

That damn thing has been sitting on my nightstand for months on end, witnessing everything that's going on in my bedroom. If it could talk, it would have tales that could make others throw up.

But at least it never failed to calm me down. Just pressing on it made it start beating. It reminded me of Y/N's heartbeat when I didn't have her with me, knowing that it continued to beat for me.
I pressed on it again, hoping it would give me some peace, but as the damn thing remained still, and I pressed again, nothing happened. It was dead. Its heart didn't beat anymore, and if its heart didn't beat, then hers didn't either. And if hers didn't either, it meant Y/N didn't love me anymore.

"Come on," I grumbled, my thumb desperately trying to press on the plush toy until the stupid heartbeat would sound again. It had no use.

I pressed again, and again, and again, until I left an imprint, bent and broken. Tears of anger streamed down my cheeks. "Start beating," I pleaded with the stupid electronic device in the heart of the plush bear. "Start pounding, god damn it!" But it just wouldn't. My blood rushed to my head, and my hands trembled, paranoia sending my thoughts into a frenzy. The bear didn't muster the dignity to give a sign, and it tore me apart. I threw the stupid thing across the room until it hit the wall and fell to the cold floor. And then I had to cry because the bear hadn't done anything wrong, and I treated it badly. I tossed it aside as if it meant nothing to me, and it lay on the ground with that smile on its lips. It didn't deserve that. It didn't deserve me. How couldn't she love me anymore?!

~

My mind was nothing but a lonely cage stranded in nowhere with a monster trying to escape from it. But after a few days, it lost so much strength that it quickly gave up hope.

Harry was just visiting, dropping off Parker from Y/N's place, having bought him candies shortly before, which is why he was now calling after my son, "but don't eat before dinner." While Parker deliberately acted as if he hadn't heard his words, disappearing behind the next wall.

"So, how are you?" Harry settled into the chair across from me, his skinny arms slumping under the white T-shirt, aware of every word Y/N and I had discussed last week. He also knew he couldn't support me, but he had to take care of me because, in fact, I wasn't doing well.

I clenched my jaw to muster any words at all.

"It could be worse." It always could. It was a plausible answer that Harry understood, nodding. He knew he couldn't extract much more from my feelings. He was like a sealed vault.

"You really don't look okay. Have you eaten anything today?" he asked, concerned, earning a sidelong glance that took my attention away from the view. How could he tell? Was it the stained white T-shirt? The alcoholic scent he caught when I breathed? The paleness of my face?