Forever and ever 2. The adventure starts now.

Part 25.

A few hours later I was lying in the guest room. There were still toys from my son spread out on the floor, which Ciara and Harry had bought him. There was even a spiderman figure starring at me from across the room. Creepy.

I switched off the light and took out my mobile phone instead.
I've never really been one to spend much time on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or whatsoever, so that wasn't what I was doing right now either. I had enough emails to answer and new messages from god knows who.

But to be honest I couldn't concentrate, wondering what Y/N was doing and if she was still awake.

My finger hovered over the keyboard for a while. Eventually I started typing but it took me three tries before I sent my message with any degree of certainty.

Tom:
Hi.
11:46 pm.

Five minutes later she still hadn't read the message.

Tom:
You still up?
11:53 pm.

Now she came online, but my messages remained unread. She was texting with someone else. My blood began to boil just at the thought. I called her immediately, just so her thoughts would be with me.
And even though it took a few seconds, she picked up.
"Hey." I said. My voice low and calm. After all, it was late and I didn't know how soundproof the walls were.
"Hi." She said. Not much emotion in her voice, so I couldn't tell if she was rather pleased or rather annoyed by my call.

Now I was already running out of words. Had called her so quickly that I haven't even had the time to think about what I wanted to say yet.
"Are you alright?" She asked.
"Yeah... yeah, I just.. wanted to hear your voice." I said.
"Oh.." She was a little taken back, hadn't expected me to say something like that.
I couldn't blame her, the last time I was even remotely respectful must be a fortnight ago.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked. She hummed. "Always." She added.
"Have you ever considered couples therapy?" That was my question. Harry's words lurked in the back of my mind. It was hard to admit, but he was right, if Y/N wanted couples therapy, then damn it, I would do it. After all, although she had now accompanied me to therapy, that still was not a couple's therapy. It was mine.
"If you're uncomfortable with that, Tommy, then no. I know we can do it without therapy as well." We can do it without therapy as well...
I chuckled. A short chuckle, almost a smirk, but it was audible. "What?" She asked, I knew with a smile on her lips.
"I like when you call me Tommy. Sounds much better than Thomas." I admitted, because the truth was, when Y/N didn't call me by my nickname, it kind of bothered me. I didn't even accept the name Thomas when friends called me that, let alone the therapist.
"Oh yeah?" She smirked. I nodded.
"Yes, my darling!" I replied, and grinned, eyes wandering out the window.

It was quiet, I don't mean the silence between Y/N and me, but outside. Only the gentle blowing of the leaves rustled in my ears. The window slightly tilted, letting the cold air into the room. That's when I realised how cold I actually was, and even though it wasn't uncommon for me to be cold, feeling cold and beeing cold was not the same. Even the blanket couldn't make me forget how lonely I was feeling. It was a good sign though, you know? My heart was longing for Y/N, and my heart hadn't been longing for much lately. So to be able to feel something today, I took as a small step forward.
"Paddy just asked me if we wanted to come to his birthday party." She spoke up.
"We? Or Parker and you?" I was sure Paddy had only invited us so he could see Y/N and Parker again. I didn't play a role for him in that scenario, it was all an act of politeness.
He might haven't admitted it yet, but since the last time, I knew things were still tense between us. The autumn dinner at my mother's had already been a bad timing for me, and Paddy catching me being the fucked up person I am, was no help to our relationship.

She sighed. "We! Including you. And I said yes. He celebrates on the Saturday after his and Parker's birthday." That was the practical thing. Paddy and Parker shared the same birthday, so there was no chance that I could forget even one of them.
"Do you know who is coming?" I asked.
"Your family in the morning and his friends in the evening."
"My family?" I was horrified, hoping she only meant my parents, but I had the feeling it would be more than just them.
"Yeah, grandparents, cousins and uncles plus aunts. Depends who they're bringing." Fucking great! I hated big events where the whole family came. As if the get together at our wedding wasn't enough. Nothing against my family but once they start talking there's no end to it. The smaller ones were constantly loud, and god, the last time I had a conversation with my cousins was 8 years ago.
"Okay." I said. "Can't wait." I added, trying my best not to sound sarcastic.
She was quiet again, and I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking about. If only I could see her now...
"Can I have a picture?" I asked.
"Uhh-" She immediately started stuttering. Didn't quite understand what I meant. "What?" She asked.
"Can you send me a picture? Of yourself?" I asked again. No answer at first. And then.
"I don't quiet know if I'm comfortable with th-"
"No princess! No-" I interrupted her. "I- of your face!" I corrected myself, unable to believe that she thought I would ask for nudes in this situation.
"Oh.." She giggled, her red cheeks transferring directly to mine. Damn, what was wrong with me? I was- strangely all right? Even though that wasn't like me at all... to talk so much, and to feel so much....

"Sure, give me a second." She said. A silent minute later, I received a picture of my beautiful girl. A grey jumper drawn over her head, a jumper I recognised immediately. Her hand holding the collar of the hood, the ring still visible on her finger in all its glory. Eyes brighter than the moon in the background, and damn her lips looked so soft. How much I wanted to feel them on mine in this exact moment.
"Darling, isn't that my jumper you're wearing?"
"In my defence. The bed felt too big, my pillow smelled too much like you, and this stupid room was too cold. What other option did I have?" We giggled, our laughter in sync.
Felt good knowing she missed me as much as I missed her.
"You're so beautiful..." I told her, decided to put the picture inconspicuously on my Instagram story. Now my followers had something to look at, and the picture was so cute, I had to let the world know how lucky I was. How lucky I was to call her mine...

I started thinking about asking her if she would agree to move to Cape Town with me, but I'm not going to lie, it was a big deal to me and I wanted to discuss that in person. With just the two of us, maybe on a date or something...
Then I thought about what day would suit, but it would be quite stressful to find a day off until Parker's birthday, so I decided to wait until the stress was over and do it the week after instead. Maybe in a restaurant. Or on a walk afterwards, only it was december and quite cold, so that didn't work in my favour.
In any case, I still had to think about it, and after all, I had a good week left to do so.
"I think I'll try to get some sleep now, and you should too." She yawned.
"Sure" I said, didn't even notice the smile plastered on my lips as my eyes wouldn't stop starring at her picture. God she was so breathtaking, can you imagine?
"Good night Tommy." She whispered.
"Good night, Darling." I answered. But neither of us hung up. It was a little awkward at first but I was glad she didn't. I still had to say the three words she hadn't heard in weeks.
"I love you.."I mumbled, waiting patiently while I imagined her smiling right now.
No answer at first, then I realised my screen was frozen, call actually having ended a long time ago.
Guess that meant she didn't get to hear the words today either...

I put my phone aside after that, had long forgotten about the instagram story or to check my messages.
Would find the time sooner or later anyway. But for now I tried to sleep, eyelids feeling heavier than myself.