FORMULA LOVE

"Your having..."

Thursday then rolled around. I was supposed to see Ellie Tuesday but every channel I switched to on the tv had an awful picture of me with the caption "formula love to hate?" Jesus when are they ever going to drop it. So I decided to lay low for one more day. I spent the whole day with Mattie yesterday as he was having his usual round of chemo. I stayed there all day yesterday just sitting with him, talking about anything. He said he'd met a girl on the same ward and we spent the whole day trying to find her in the hospital. Her name is Abigail and she is 16 years old. When Mattie showed me her yesterday she seemed just like my brother, frail and tired.

Me and Matt had a argument yesterday as I wanted to go and say hello to this new girl of his but he thought it'd be too awkward. It turns out she's a massive F1 fan and she came over to us instead. Matt's eyes lit up as soon as the big blue eyed girl came over to say hello. She was gobsmacked that Matt didn't tell her his sister was an F1 driver, to say the least. This girl was only talking to us for a matter of minutes but within that time something in Mattie was different, he was more talkative, louder more confident and even more happy. I hadn't seen him like this for a couple months now. I slipped his phone number on a piece of paper to her just before I left, he'll thank me later.

But today it's Jamie's turn considering he's off school for the 2 week holiday. Him and Mattie get on fairly well considering they are the complete opposite. One of the main factors being, Jamie doesn't have to deal with the things Matt does. When the boys were younger Jamie was and still is so protective of Mattie. He used to guard Matt with a stick he found out side at pre-school. Even now,boys especially, are cruel towards Mattie. So Jamie being the caring brother he is has got suspended numerous times in the case of a month just due to fights.

I'm currently sat at St Mary's hospital as Ellie is having her next scan. She wanted me to tag along as I'm a big part of Els life and Liam will most likely faint from the gender reveal. She's 16 weeks today and the doctor told her she could find out now so here we are. Ellie is laid on the bed and the woman is doing the ultrasound. The gel on her belly looks like my brothers' hair gel. The nurse moved the equipment around the stomach, "Babies all seem to be fine. Nothing abnormal." She says with a big grin on her face.

Wait... TWINS!

"Fuck off are you having twins Ellie Dwight!" I curse at her, the nurse turns to me utterly baffled. "Sorry Sayd wanted it to be a surprise." She says her hands connected at her chest as she looks at them. "Awh Ellie." I excitedly say standing up and giving her a big hug. Then something dawns on me. Where is Liam? I thought she said he'd be here. "Ellie where's Liam? Shouldn't he be here?" I say confused, she begins to say something when the nurse interrupts, "Would you like to know the gender of your twins?"

"Yeah, yeah I think so." Ellie reply's as she turns to me with a big smile, like she's brushed off what she was going to say a second ago. "It's twin girls !! Your having twin girls, congratulations." The nurse reveals cheerily. I jump about in excitement, "I'm going to be an auntie to two gorgeous girls.". I then turn to the mother and engulf her in a hug and kiss her on the cheek.

"Congratulations babe!"

I look back at the picture on the screen. The babies are in a heart shape. My eyes brim with tears, I can already tell they're going to be beautiful little girls. I bet they'll be smart just like their mum.

~~~~~~~~~~~

An hour or so passes and we're back at our favourite place ever, our little coffee shop. She's drinking a hot chocolate and I have a espresso. Apparently caffeine is bad for the babies according to her. Wherever she has got that from. Jesus it's so weird calling it "babies" and not just "baby". Me and her had just finished our Oreo pancakes and it's nearing 6pm. I decided to stay at the apartment tonight to spend more time with her. "So Ellie where was Liam today." I suddenly ask whilst I take a large gulp of my espresso. "He's... he's not really in the picture anymore Sadie."

I spit my drink out nearly all over her "WHAT."

"Okay hear me out here Sayd. Me and him...we wasn't working out."

I place my head in my face, I'm so frustrated and I'm not even the one pregnant. "You better tell me he's gonna give you money to help with HIS children."

I hear no answer. Great.

"Ohhh Ellie." I say as I fake cry into my hands. Her hands are placed on the back of my head stroking my dirty blonde hair gently. "I know Sayd, I know. I'm going to get through it though. I'll just have to put my med school on hold for now, I've already finalised it." I mean atleast she's got some stuff in order. "Do you need money Ellie. Honestly if you do I will give it to you in a heart beat. She shakes her head repeatedly.

"You already do so much for me Sayd, you literally pay half the rent for the flat and you don't even live there."

"Okay we'll you better call me if you need something, anything." I say seriously, now that's she's eating and living for 2 more I have to step up. Now that the dads fucked off to wherever he came from.

"Now let's go home and have a movie marathon. Mean girls to start?", Ellie changes the subject.

"You know it"