FORMULA LOVE

There is no more formula love

"I fucking love it here, let's never go back and raise the twins here. Right in this hotel room." My short legged friend hobbles to the big bed, covering most of the room, and collapses on it. "Babe we've been here 5 minutes, relax." I reply to her jokingly. "To be fair I wouldn't mind if this was my bedroom for the rest of my life." I add running to the bed too and falling beside her letting out a relived sigh. The climb up to the penthouses  were so tiring my feet hurt. The room was massive, three big windows were placed parallel to the bed so we could see the Australian Sandy beaches outside. Then as you looked at the right of the bed there is a huge spiral staircase leading up the toilet and balcony upstairs. The walls had a off-white tone to them.

"I think I need a little nap for a bit I'm so tired." My best friend announces next to me. "Tell me more about Leclerc quick."

"We'll... If you must know, he's quite a decent looking man... okay he's hot. I'm older than him just by a year. When I first met him he was a complete and utter arse hole. Completely loved himself. But then..." I stop and sigh. "He started to turn into a guy that really liked me and seemed to care so much about me, like the time he saved me from that car. But that's when all the mixed signals kicked in. And once he told me he didn't actually like me for who I am I realised Lando may be the better choice after all."

The whole time Ellie had her hand rested on mine squeezing it every so often to reassure me. She knows how much I had liked the French driver and how much I was hurting when he basically told me he didn't feel the same way in the most cruelest way possible. It's basically like being stabbed in the heart a million times. "Now tell me about lando." Ellie said tiredly. "We'll Lando is a nice guy, very caring and kind. And..And.."

I paused entirely. I really couldn't think of anything else. "We'll is he hot atleast?"

"Oh yeah of course."

"We'll Sayd it's not someone you'd usually go for. Sounds alot like he's just a friend if u can't find anything more to say about him."

I groan as I put my right hand up to my face, rubbing my eyes too. "Don't worry about it right now. Just sleep." Ellie says and I let out a sound of agreement. Both of us had our legs dangling off the edge, mine more than hers due to the 4 inch gap between us.

Although I was drifting off to sleep my mind was somewhere else. Did I really like Leclerc that much, so much more than Norris? I suppose Leclerc had that other side about him. He was a lot more rude than Lando. Lando is purely a sweetheart, I don't know about anyone else but to me he's been nothing but nice. Leclerc on the other hand has kept me so much on my toes that they feel like they may actually break. And yes, that is a reference to the floors I just climbed with Ellie too. I suppose I hadn't really given Lando a chance because I've been running around after Charles. Since I've started my career I've felt nothing but sadness and anxiety. All down to these womaniser boys but the only real womaniser here is Leclerc.

When Charles said "Lando can't give you what I can." He really just wanted me to choose him so he could use me and tell the world he'd had sex with a fellow racing driver. When I made out with Lando, we was both under the influence. We both didn't have anyone to talk to. And I hate to say it but I felt no spark, or if I did it's well and truly gone now.

Then it all clicked none of the boys can give me anything. The whole "formula love" scandal is a pack of lies. There is no formula love, there is only attachment, even more attachment, entering a depressive state then turning back into strangers. I feel love towards these two. Especially Leclerc, I though to myself. He is not good enough for me. Me liking him will make me continue down the spiral to even more heartbreak. I need to start putting myself first.

There is no more formula love.