FORMULA LOVE

Bathroom pt2

"Great work today Brando. I'll see you all in 2 weeks!" Wolff announces to the group. We was still in the pit 2 hours after the race, celebrating my third place for the team. Everyone branded it as my "break through race", I was flustered to say the least.

Wolff opens the door and turns back to give me one last smile and then exits. "Oh my god he just called me by my last name!" I was more stunned over this than the race I had just finished third in. Usually the boss only calls me by my first name, "so does he like me now."

"Eh, may need to get on the podium a few more times until you can be best buds with him." Lewis replies as he's sat next to me patting my head. Ellie is sat on the other side of me cradling me like I'm her child. She then whispers in my ear "well done Sayd. You smashed it today." I give her a big toothed grin.
"Right I need the toilet. I'll be back in 5." I say to her and Lewis. I get up walking up to the door flying it open and walking down the long narrow hallway to the bathroom. The walls are filled with pictures of racing drivers, dating all the way back to the 70s. Lella Lombardi is also on here which makes my eyes light up. It was a black and white photo of her sat in her car at the end of the race smiling directly at the camera. It's so weird to think me and her are the only women to ever had competed in F1. I've always looked up to her, I used to watch her races on YouTube since I was 10, in awe of how she was not phased that every other driver was a man. She just drove, because she loved to drive. Just like me.

I come to the sign that said ladies and open the door, the sinks were marble and the stall doors were covered grey. There was a chandelier hung from the ceiling. "This is snazzy." I mutter to myself as I walk to the end stall. I walk in and before I knew it I'm being pushed from behind. A broad chest was forcing me in, my instinct was to try and push back. But my back wasn't strong enough. So I turn around and decide to use my hands. I look up at the intruder. He had stubble on his jaw line and the big green eyes. I was now fully trapped in, with my back against the wall. He quickly turned to lock the door.

Scream Sadie. Scream. So I did.

He covers my mouth with his hands, a worried look in his eyes. "Stop Sadie. I'm not here to hurt you. I just want to talk." I soon stop struggling and just stand there completely frozen. I feel like I'm in a horror movie or something. He unclasps my mouth and just stands there staring in my eyes.

"Look I'm sorry for frightening you. But I can't talk to you in front of the media. You know, because of that "restraining order" you could say." He chuckles lightly as he scratches his head. He puts me to ease a bit and I feel less inclined to run from him.

"What do you want?" I say breathlessly. I still manage to mask my comfortability with coldness.

"You know the night when we kissed and I said all that shit... Well I didn't mean any of it. The truth is..." He pauses before adding, "I like you, like really like you. You entice me so much, your in my head, like, everyday."

"Then why did you say those horrible things then Charles?" I ask him as I cross my arms. "I'm so sorry I said them horrible things Sadie. It's just, everyone I seem to get close with has hurt me. Or I somehow manage to hurt them. But I'm going to change. Give me time but when I'm better at the whole relationship concept we can maybe start something." He says eagerly with a glimmer of hope in his eye.

"I know you like me Sadie and I like you too." He smiles at me as he walks forwards. I put my arm out to stop him. "Look I like you too, a lot. But I'm sorry I'm not going to wait for a man that only thinks of himself. You had no idea how much of a state I was in. I had to get Lando to get me.."

"Lando. You. Asked.Lando?" He sarcastically laughed.

"Yes who else would get me? But that doesn't matter Charles." I sigh turning my head to look down at my shoes. I decide to ease the tension by slowly resting the top of my head on his chest. I let out a shaky breath, "I'm not going to be treated like this anymore, like you don't want me, even if you say you do."

He lifts his left and and strokes my hair. "But Sayd..."

"No Charles", I cut in, lifting my head back up and once again staring up at him. "I'm not waiting for you, not anymore."

His breathing becomes heavier and his eyes become watery, I know he's getting upset. In that moment I wanted to take back what I said and just jump on him and kiss him, but I knew this would make my life a hell of a lot happier. If that meant losing him, then so be it.

"Goodbye Charles." I whisper quietly to him, my voice breaks halfway through. I unlock the stall with my trembling hands and walk diagonal to get to the front door. I never once looked back at him, I just simply left. Whilst exiting the bathroom I wipe the tears on my cheek with the back of my hand and sniff a few times.

So all that time he had felt the same way. He knew I liked him too but he continued to torment me for three months. I needed to part ways with him for my own benefit, for my team. For myself.