♡ 𐐪 ◜𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒◞ 𐑂 ♡

𝘆𝘂𝗷𝗶 𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝗮

【 ᴏʟᴅᴇʀ!ᴘʟᴀʏʙᴏʏ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ 】
❝ 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘺─𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵/𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵 ❞
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                                 That one fateful night is tattooed in my brain, and absolutely nothing will ever make me forget what happened despite the utter heartbreak I faced. But all this time I should have expected it considering the type of person I foolishly fell in love with.

Heh, well, it is my fault for everything.

There was no room for me to try to lie to make myself feel better about the situation I, alone, got myself into despite everyone's warnings. I let my own desperations out too easily without thinking much about the consequences, something Misaki-chan always said would get me in trouble one of these days. And of course, she was right. Any other time I would blatantly ignore her warnings because, hey? What is the point of playing the game if you can't have fun with it, was always my motto. No matter the situation really, I just wanted to live my life to the fullest however I wanted.

This time...where I found myself was well-deserved, I'd say. It wasn't just me thinking Misaki-chan was being a square ― my close friends and teammates who'd usually join in on my, I admit, stupid ideas explicitly shared their distaste toward him, more so how I chose him in the first place knowing the type of guy he is. But what could I say, at the time? He was incredibly hot, said all the right things to seduce me right into his arms, and the mature fashion in which he'd acted was only natural for his age, even if it was merely for the sake of gaining what he wanted. He was still an adult who experienced a lot more aspects of life than I ever did or even would since...come on, just look at me. I already admitted having always acted stupid in every other situation, so what really was there to expect?

Still, I couldn't stop myself from falling in love with him. I looked past his older age and extremely long relationship history so I could relish in this feeling I never felt before toward anyone; the fantasies plaguing my mind, some wholesome where he hugs me close against his warm chest, others much lewder where his big hands fondle my body. I just loved it, and he knew that.

I loved it all.

I loved him so, so much that I finally gave myself to him when I should have walked away.

It was obviously mostly due to my obsession with being under his power that I gave myself up barely two months into our "relationship". I wanted him, I wanted to be under him as he took full control over me for hours on end until I'd absolutely break, and I wanted him to keep holding me in his arms. I didn't care if it was my naïve mind telling me it was due to the burning passion we held for each other, or if it was my one-sided attachment that flushed my cheeks and sped up my heart that spread this warmth throughout my body.

And to think that a simple party was, ironically, the destruction of those ridiculous hopes I nourished.

The night innocently started with me sitting alone on the couch holding a half-empty beer can he coerced into my hand. I actually didn't like drinking, a fact I learned a few days into our relationship when I first visited his house and he forced me into trying some alcohol. (It was then I learned that those peer-pressure teachers religiously warned us about what I always thought was bullshit was more than prominent whenever I was with him.) At the time I let myself try it to make him happy, but this time around I outright denied the drink. Both then when I almost threw up in disgust and now, he groaned an annoyed "oh my god" like I was some child constantly whining to him.